Baby Girl & Me

It goes without saying that a parent will have different relationships with their different children.  No two persons are the same and so no two relationships are the same. The love may be the same but the interactions and experiences usually differ, naturally so. 

That said, my relationship with quiet, sensitive, imaginative, feeling type Havana is quite different than with big sis, who is an energetic, louder, spunky head type. Amara, being older, has obviously been around me longer and more of her personality is developed. But Bay Girl, she is just 4 1/2 and each day that passes I learn more about her delicate, artistic and sweet Self. Juicy is a word I used to describe her. Juicy and sweet.

I love this photo of us. I think it captures that sweetness and our relationship. We often co-sleep and she makes one cuddly bed partner. She is affectionate and kind and sensitive and each day I fall in love with her more and more. (and that goes for Big Sis too!)

To Do Lists

We recently implemented more responsibilities for the girls. To help support them I found wonderful, kid attractive dry erase charts to keep track of what they need to do each day and to check off when it's complete. Amara has taken to it like a champ. She loves charts and  when things are organized and laid out in a manner she can read she quickly makes it part of her routine. She also loves to tick off what she has done.  This chart is perfect for this Montessori student who is in charge of her work plans in a similar manner. The only downside is that Amara gets anxious when she doesn't have time to do all her things. Reminders that she can do something later doesn't always go over well. 

Havana likes doing her chores but needs occasional encouragement. For some reason, which I have yet to figure out, she doesn't want to tick off her completed tasks. But as she is almost five, we want her to become more accountable for herself and to contribute the household. There have been a few surprises with all of this; sometimes the girls fight over who gets things done and they are more inclined to help out with other things around the house. They recently fought over who got to fold the laundry!  I am enjoying all of that because such eager helpfulness may not last.

This morning I discovered Another surprise. Look closely at the Amara's list below. She added 'wake up' to her chores! I truly think she may have comedy in her future.

I love the ease of this 'to do' list; I can add or subtract things with ease and it has a magnetic back so it it is on the fridge at a height that works for them.

So here's to my girls growing up and being little people who do more for them themselves, others and the home they live in!

Ellerhorst Daisy Troop

Adventure Playground

We recently ventured out to Adventure Playground down at the Berkeley Marina. It was one of those playgrounds on the back of my radar. A 'maybe we will check it out some day' park but not high on the list since I am not a fan of driving too far for a park and the marina can be cold and windy. But when it came up again on conversation recently, we decided to head on down and check it out as a family.

Thankfully, it was a warm Sunday afternoon, with only a slight breeze and we sailed down with I-80 with surprising ease.

Upon entering the playground, the girls were delighted to discover they could run and play, paint and hammer and do just about whatever in this free for all zone. Parents do need to stay close to their little people as there are nails, steep steps, wably walkways and other potentially dangerous things.

I always get a kick out of my girls enthusiasm for life. The term "living vicariously" never meant much until I had children. And on this day, I soaked up the wonder through
their eyes. Especially little Havana who went up and down (and up again) on every slide and stairs.

And that was interesting to me, enjoying their fun. Because I really didn't like the playground. It wasn't that I didn't like the playground, it was the feeling there. Something felt odd; like sticky, yucky energy. I felt like I wanted to quickly leave that physical space. However, I discovered when I held my feelings and other playground without judgement, something shifted. Then I was able to be with my own experience and theirs without wanting to leave.

Not too long after that, the girls asked me if I liked the place. As always, I was honest. But I also told them that it was okay that I didn't like it, that they were having a good time and that shouldn't change their experience. Not shifting their experiences based on others experiences is an important

lesson I try to impart on them often. So for that alone, I was glad to have out this outing. And it really was worth it to see the joy in their faces as they explored every nook and cranny they could find.

The Bay

Rear View

 This past week, I took a moment to capture on film what I see when I look in the rear view mirror because I realized as much as I dislike being in the car, I find some of my best conversations and intimate moments with Amara and Havana happen on the road. In the small confined space of our Hylander, we check in with each other on  how our day went, sing songs or just check out the scenery. I also use the time to share things with my little ladies that I want them to know. Once, when Amara was tired after a long day at school, I shared my experiences about the importance of rest and quiet time.  Another afternoon Havana was upset that a friend at school didn't play with her. After validating her experience, I took the opportunity to talk about friendships and how friends don't always have to spend every day with each other. Recently, the girls were all chatty about makeup. I siezed that moment to tell the girls that they were both so beautiful but that what mattered most was their inner beauty. 

There are many more moments like this, too many to recount but I pray that some of what we share remains with my little loves. 

Hercules Historic Building at Sunset

Zombie Finger

I recently almost lost my left index finger in a kitchen accident. It was a horrible injury. Five stitches and weeks of having to keep it protected from being touched only added to the trauma. It was a scary event for myself as well as the girls.

In the weeks after the incident, Havana started calling me zombie finger and she started to draw pictures of my hand. I was relieved that she was able to independently use drawing to process the distress she was experiencing. We would talk about her feelings after each drawing and sometimes we would laugh when she called me zombie finger.

Amara, being older and more articulate was able to talk more easily about the accident. Amara was present during the actual


event and both girls where there when I went to the ER. Amara initially processed things by taking photos of the doctor stitching me up. Later on, my finger grossed her out and she would continually tell me "Don't touch me with your zombie finger."

My injury was just a few weeks old when we went to Florida. One evening, after dinner on Captiva  Island, we went into a gift shop. There we saw these monster finger puppets. The girls got a kick of it when this silly mama put one on my zombie finger. Not surprisingly, the girls and I both thought I just had to buy it. So Zombie Man came with us. Now I take it out every now and again and act all silly, speaking in a zombie voice as I tease the girls.

My injury wasn't always a laughing matter but I am                                                                                                                               glad we can get a kick                                                                                                                                 out of it now.

One of Havana's drawings of my finger. This one she folded and put in the mailbox and then told me that I had mail!

Goodbye Winter

 It is technically still winter but recent days have brought sunny and deliciously warm days. The grass has finally turned green after some much needed rain and the California Poppy are starting to peek their heads up from mostly dry earth. 

Last weekend we turned the clocks forward and the only upside of the recent time change was longer days. One evening this past week, our family took a hike along the ridge trail after supper and another meant a sweet hike along the bay with friends. I love that in these recent days, the evening air holds the heat from the day and the skies have graced us with their magnificent hues of orange.

My entire Being is thankful that the coldest, darkest days are behind us. I am a lover of the Sun, both for her heat and light. So here's to Spring and goodbye to Winter.

What better way to spend a Saturday night with kids? A hike under the full moon while the sun is setting.

 

Our friends Marjorie, Ezra and Shana

Where The Mountain Meets The Moon

Our family loves to read. Bookworms is a label we take no offense to. Not a day passes where Don and I don't read to the girls and  not a day passes where the girls don't take time to read to themselves (well, Havana kind of makes things up as she goes along but has has to read a book to herself before bedtime!)

 This family of readers is always on the hunt for a good book. Their out of the box mother is cautious about the type of things they read. Books with meaning, depth and humor are what I seek out. Books that are sexist, racist and too mainstream are ones I steer away from.

Last year, the girls friends Max and Charles, turned us on to a book that fit that description and it quickly became one of our favorites. 'Where The Mountain Meets The Moon' is a delightful tale about a girl named Minli would goes in search of the old man of the moon to change her family fortune. This story is fully of mythology and timeless messages about family and friendship.  We loved the the story so much, that I have bought the book as presents for several friends and cousins, Each time we give the gift of Minlis story it's hit!

 We first read the book when Amara was not yet 6 (Havana was too young to sit through a chapter book). Each night, we'd quickly finish bedtime routines, then climb into our king size bed where I would read a chapter to Amara. We would then we would discuss Minlis's adventures. The rich, engaging story gave us much to talk about.

About a year later, I learned that there would be a musical adaptation of the book put on by the Bay Area Children's Theater, Amara and I did a happy dance. Havana too loved the idea of seeing our new favorite story come to life on stage. The whole family, along with some friends, went together to see Minili come to life. The show was very well done and kept even the youngest ones engaged. By this time, Havana was almost ready for the print version as well. Not too long after we saw the play, Don and her completed the book, chapter by chapter, getting lost in Minli's journey.

Story's are powerful teachers and I suspect that the story of Minli will remain a favorite for a long time to come.

Here is the link to amazon to check it out further http://www.amazon.com/Where-Mountain-Meets-Moon-Grace/dp/0316038636.

Happy Reading!

Amara's Stories

I recently went to Amara’s school for  an open house. Some of the things she showed me were math, nouns, compounds, time and her writing. I had no idea she was writing stories. The stories were what brought the biggest smile. As a writer, I know what words can do. They bring joy, healing, laughter, protect history and so much more. I was beyond thrilled to catch a glimpse of some of the stories that Amara brought forth from her heart and mind onto paper to share with others.

Some of what Amara has written about were her “My Trip to New York City” and the mama and baby fox that made our yard it's home two summers ago. It was quite touching to read her spin on things. In the eyes and words of a six year old, they may seem simple. But this mama felt proud and touched that Amara has kept these memories close to her heart and that they were important enough to write about.

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