Half Moon in Blue Sky

10th Anniversary

 

Ten years ago, on a very (very) hot day at Heather Farms in Walnut Creek, Don and I committed to being life partners. A year later, Amara was born. Two years after that, Havana arrived. (June seems to be quite the month for our family.)  Life during our ten years together has been Full. Very Full. And honestly, not that easy. I have long learned relationships are hard. Two older people, joining lives with all the things they bring with them, raising young kids in the hustle and bustle of the expensive Bay Area, not having any support other than ourselves to lean on, my 5 a.m. wake times for ten years causing chronic fatigue; it's been challenging to say the least.

Yet, despite all of that, I know that Don is the one I was meant to be partners with; the one I was meant to co-parent with. He has been a stable rock in my life and the children's lives. He provides us with so much more than the proverbial roof over the head. Don brings us stability, protection, endless laughter and creativity. He is resourceful and has the patience of a saint (anyone living w/ me for this long is a saint!)

So it is on this milestone anniversary, with the girls older and more independent, with us both older and a tad bit wiser, that we have realized and committed to making memories over the next ten years that bring more joy, more laughter and much more love. 

In a cave restaurant on the coast of Mombasa

 

At the Buddhist stupa in Kathmandu

Chang Rai Thailand

 

Mombasa

 

 

 

Atop Haleakala, Maui

SuperPapa

Amara y Havana could not have a better father than Don. Fact.

Don is Superpapa in so many ways. Here are just a few.

Don is: Patient, engaged, funny, loving, sensitive, a great teacher, caring, silly, a big kid at heart, protective, loyal.

All of things things are evident in the relationships he has with his girls. Their bonds are deep, solid, loving.  In many ways, Don is by far a better parent than I.  The girls are blessed to have such an amazing parent like him. 

7

 

Baby Girl is turning 7!

Seven doesn't quite have the same kick that Amara's turning 9 did. For that I am most thankful. I find myself taking a deep breath of relief that one of my girls is still chubby checked, not as cognitively or gross motor developed; that Havana still wants/needs help taking a bath, doesn't mind extra long cuddle time and in many ways is still the baby sister. Because time is moving way too fast and I want to relish in her young innocence as long as I can.

I must admit, at times, I get impatient. I forget that she and her sister are different. Two years at this age makes a huge difference. For example, Havana doesn't want to help as much as her sister but at that age Amara didn't either. I have to remind myself of that often.  

However, there is something to be said for having an older sister that Havana idolizes (and for attending a Montessori School). Havana tries to follow in her sister's footsteps (which drives Amara batty at times.) Just recently, she was in a cranky mood. She wanted to watch t.v. I said no. She wanted to play a game with me. I reminded her I had to cook dinner. When her pout face became too dramatic to ignore (Havana has quite the expressions), I suggested she join me in the kitchen. A month ago she would have said simply but stubbornly, "No." On that day, however, a month closer to seven, and after witnessing Amara help make multiple meals, she said, "Okay."  Havana pulled up her chair to the sink, washed her tiny hands and got to work. Baby Girl peeled and washed veggies and fruits for our smoothie.  She measured out the almond milk and put in the ice. Havana didn't drink the green concoction but boy was she proud to have made it.  Havana was also not afraid to get near a hot stove (unlike her sister!) Havana battered the food and put it in the pan. She patiently waited till it turned golden brown (Challah french toast!), flipped it and then took it out to put in the toaster oven to keep warm. I was quite surprised at all she accomplished. At six, not quite seven, I see her as Baby Girl, but the truth is, Havana is quite capable.

Havana has surprised us in other ways as well recently. In the past, Havana was very shy about being on stage. She'll happily sing, dance and perform for Don, Amara and I, but in her dance classes, that's another story. More than once she refused to do participate in her shows.  Yet, earlier this month, at her school concert, Havana sang without fear played an instrument and had a role in short skit. Don and I both turned and looked at each other, in shock that our Havana was up there, so brave and doing so well.

Havana is quite the creative little being. That side of her is unfolding more and more. She sings, loves to dance, can spend hours drawing. Havana has beautiful penmanship (she recently taught herself cursive!) and she writes out stories and poems. Her handwriting can look like calligraphy at times. It really is beautiful. Whenever there is a card needed for a birthday, Havana is our go to girl.  Now that school is out, she is spending three weeks in art camp. She told me after day three of camp, "I love art. I wish I could do it all day."  When I heard those words, I gave silent thanks that we are able to send the girls to art camp each summer. Havana is not only doing what she loves but will be improving her craft, which will build her confidence. Havana is shy at times and with a big sister, who takes up a lot of space (energetically), it's sweet to see Baby Girl shine in her own light. 

Since she was little, long before she could read, Havana would sit and look at books for long periods of time. She would tell herself her own made up  story, entertaining herself. Reading itself took time for Havana. She finally got the hang of the written word toward the end of Kindergarten but it didn't really take off until the last half of first grade. Whereas she was not confident before, she sure is now. Her words flow off her tongue and she is reading everything in site.  But Havana still loves to be read to.  Every night, Don and Havana read one of those Daisy Meadow books. I personally have no tolerance for them. (same story, same plot, same Jack Frost and goblins!) but every night, there they are in bed, reading several chapters together. And every Wed, when Big Sis is at dance class, Havana and I go the library where she picks up another 3 or 4 Fairy books for her Papa to read to her!

Havana is a strong willed little being but she is also extremely sensitive. I am discovering that she is quite emphatic. She feels things deeply and at times will break out crying but is not yet able to express what is going on for her. I am working on that with her. While she resists at times, I do sit with her to talk about what is going on. When Havana gets herself into trouble (like hitting her sister or throwing food she doesn't want to eat), she will refuse to talk about what happened with me and doesn't like to apologize. But you can bet that within a short period of time there will be a letter in the mail box with a drawing on it from her. That is her way of saying I am sorry. (but her drawings are not limited to apologies. Havana makes cards and pictures for us all time!) Overall, however, Havana is a happy little girl. Her joyful heart shines through.

 

With her approaching seventh birthday, I know she will change and grow. I know I can't keep her a little girl forever but Baby Girl will always be my Baby Girl and I look forward to seeing this delicate, vibrant, flower continue to unfold. 

 

 

Feisty, Frolicking, Foxes

 

'Our' foxes have taken over! When they show up (usually 1-2x a day now), they now take over the entire yard. From Mama climbing on the cabin roof, to jumping on the trampoline or kids picnic table, to eating Don's tomatoes, these little cutie pies, feel they are free to do whatever! All the while, the humans in the house, watch from the window downstairs or the balcony upstairs with silent delight.

I think Foxy recognizes us now because she comes almost right up to the door and watches us watching her. I feel like we could write up all the fox behaviors we have observed over the past month. It is has been such a joy to have them here this Spring.  

9

Amara Pearl Josephine is turning nine! Nine! Like all the billions of parents before me, I am shaking my head how the years have both flown by while also seemed to have moved in first gear.  Nine. I can't believe how this little person has so completely filled my life with her presence. Nine years. Yet, nine years from now, the same amount of time Amara has graced our lives, she will be thinking college. I can't even fathom the day she will not at home with us. The mere thought makes my heart shed a few tears.

For now however, I don't have to worry. Amara (for now) remains deeply attached to both her parents.  She will tinker with Don in the garden, or help him to change the oil in the cars. Amara is always up for playing a game or jumping in the bath with me. Amara loves to cook, is eager to help with chores and tell me all about everything going on in her life. (Don too; whenever I try to tell Don something, he usually tells me Amara already told him!)  Recently, I was needing some space (I had to pee). I asked her to give please leave. She wouldn't budge. I then told her she was like my shadow. With a big smile, she told me she liked being my shadow, and stood in the bathroom door while I used it! That's Amara.

 

That's not true. Amara is so much more than a little girl who needs to feel secure by having her parents nearby and engaged with her. We have known since birth how curious she was but little did I know how much I would learn and grow because of her.  On a hike at Camp Caz (photo above), she insisted we explore the creek further and further. Sure enough, Amara discovered some little caves and a small waterfall. The day before I had done that same hike and had not seen those things. With Amara in the lead, my world expands.

Amara also makes life funnier. She has the Coughlin funny gene and tells jokes, plays tricks and does silly stunts.  Amara has her dad's sense of humor which makes this family giggle and smile often. That is Amara.

 

Amara's strong willed nature has shown up since first few years. But Amara is also a very thoughtful person. She is sharp as tack. Nothing goes past her and she is quick to point something out or to let you know you missed something (which makes me want to scream at time!). But Amara is also a kind hearted little girl who loves her family and friends deeply. Her cat brothers too. Amara's compassion for animals is moving. For someone who can present as a little bossy and tough, she actually has a very tender and loving heart.  Amara started making a birthday list for Havana (who is 7 this month). When I told her that the present her sister wanted was too expensive, she ran upstairs only to return a few minutes later with tooth fairy money in her hand. "This is nineteen dollars. We can use this to help." (and then she did the math to see how much more we needed!) That is Amara.

When asked what she wanted for her birthday, Amara told me a pogo stick. I burst out laughing. "Seriously Amara? You are a pogo stick." Amara has boundless energy. I can barely keep up at times. (I should have known pre-birth, because Don and I would see her little foot kicking my stomach out so that it was visible, every night, for hours). This little gal,  she had four 5 k's under her belt, spends hours on the trampoline, is always ready for a hike and when she is not purposely active, she is like Tigger; bouncing and moving all around! That is Amara.

 

Amara is going to be moving up to 4th grade next year; a new classroom, new kids (and old too). The change will be both challenging and welcomed. Change is hard for anyone but especially Amara. But she is a bright girl and I am confident that she will thrive. Amara loves to learn, socialize and be involved. 

Amara is all of these things and so much more. Amara is  delightful little being and I am thankful each and every days she has graced my life.