I can't even begin to describe all the feelings I have been having about Amara graduating high school last week Friday. So many emotions. I feel sad. I feel excited. I feel grumpy. I feel nervous. I feel thrilled. Mostly though, I just can't believe my Amara Pearl Josephine has graduated high school, is turning 18 in a few short days and will soon leave the nest and fly north, towards Oregon.
Millions, billions, of humans have walked this path before me and yet I feel alone in my experience. I do take some comfort that others know what it feels like and still I feel like I am having my own unique experience. This time reminds me of the days before Amara was born. Back then, a wise person told me, "You can't prepare for parenthood, no matter how hard you try. Until your child is born and you walk through the door of parenthood, you can not know what it is like."
That is how I have felt about Amara moving into adulthood. I have known it was coming. I have all these feelings and yet, until it happened in front of my eyes last week, I was not truly prepared.
Something has shifted these past few days. Just like the my baby girl is now an adult. I still long for the days when she was teeny tiny. I wish I could go back to even a few hours of her toddler years and push her on the swing at the park. Yet those longings have subsided these past days. Now I see Amara more as an adult and like all the developmental stages that have passed, I can see that this next phase of her life will bring great and wonderful things.
Happy High School Graduation to my Amara Pearl Josephine.
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