8!!!!!!!!

Havana Ruby Modesta is having a birthday. Eight. Havana Ruby Modesta is turning eight! In the grand scheme of a full life, she remains so young. For that I am grateful. I am not yet ready for Baby Girl to grow up too fast.

 As I reflect on the past year, what stands out most is that Havana's vibrant personality is shining through more and more each day. I am thankful that Baby Girl is still little but I see the signs of the young person she is becoming. My little juicy blueberry who I always thought of as warm and cuddly remains that but oh, to my surprise, Ms. Havana can also be sour too! Who would've thought my quiet, artistic, dancer with such graceful handwriting and whose sweet kisses she reserves only for her mama, would fuss and tantrum when she is only allowed one television show; doesn't get her way or refuses to do her jobs such as feeding the cat or her laundry? I am not delusional or grandiose. I don't see my daughter as perfect. But with a big sister who has a much larger personality and presence, it's been quite the eye opener to see Havana stepping out into her own sunlight.

These days, we see Havana not only less shy amongst friends but loud, funny and outgoing. Havana, who can spend hours alone, playing with her countless dolls, now asks for playdates with friends almost daily. So much so that Don and I have started to think that maybe she doesn't like it at home! We've discovered that once Havana feels comfortable with a person, especially adults, she teases and plays pranks. After a time however, Havana needs to retreat to a quiet space, where this sensitive Little Being, takes the time to find the balance she needs from her external excursions.

This past year, Havana has become a bookworm but still asks her beloved Papa to read to her each night.  She still needs someone to sleep with her at night (photos below show that started from day one!) and Lord knows I wish she wasn't such a selective eater, it's hard enough being a vegetarian. I have started calling Havana a pastafarian!

Havana adores her big sister Amara (who in return likes to boss Havana around and act like a parent!) Most days the siblings get on okay, with only a few fights. Yet as much as Havana loves big sis, she does say Amara talks too much for her and is too loud, reflecting on Havana's sensitive nature who at home prefers calm and quiet environments.

Havana brings a balance to our lives. Her (mostly!) tranquil, sweet presence brings us much joy and light. Baby Girl is a gift to this family, and especially me, who could not have asked for a more beautiful soul to land into my life and whom I am so honored and humbled to parent.

Happy 8th Birthday Havana Ruby Modesta!

Then & Now (H.R.M.)

As I sit on my bed, working on Baby Girl's 8th Birthday Blog, I pour over the countless hundreds, no thousands of photos for the post. I select two dozen, from which to decide upon later. All the while, Baby Girl is in the bath. When she gets out, she fusses; she cries. She tells me she is tired tonight. She climbs on top of our bed, and falls asleep in minutes. Don and I gaze on our sweet girl with love. And then I recall one of the two dozen photos I choose for her birthday blog but did not select. Now I know why; it was for this one; a glimpse of Baby Girl then and now. So different in many ways and yet still my Sweet Juicy Blueberry Girl.

Happy Last Day of 7 Havana Ruby.

10!!!!!!!!!!

 Ms. Amara Pearl Josephine is TEN! Holy Smokes! How did that happen? It really does feel like just yesterday we were at the hospital, in the middle of my 30+ hour labor, waiting for Amara to make her entrance. 

On special days like a milestone tenth birthday, I am thankful for my obsession with photographing so much of my children's lives. Looking back at the countless moments captured helps me to keep memories alive. Photos capture a glimpse of who Amara is. From day one, wait, prior to day one, she was a restless baby, moving non-stop and kicking me in utero. While she thankfully stopped kicking once she was born, that restlessness has not. My little monkey is often found swinging from one thing to another, chattering away as she goes.

 Amara does have her quiet times. She loves to read and tinker with things, always trying to figure things out.

Amara  is also quite the adventurer. She is always eager to go out in the world and discover new things including new rocks to collect, a place for her new fort or with me, checking out new vegetarian places to have lunch at with me.

Amara, like all humans, is not perfect. She struggles with competition and jealousy. Especially when it comes to her sister. I suspect one of her life lessons is to look within and be happy with where she is at vs what others are doing and striving for whatever others have. Yet her competitive nature also pushes her. Amara excels at the things she loves; math, gymnastics, running, reading, making new things. Amara needs to learn to be patient and compassionate (this is another part of her life's lessons) with herself when she is in a learning process for the outcome is always the same. Amara is a perfectionist and demands high quality of herself.

Amara is a social creature as well who is loyal to her friends. While she has been recently drawn to build some newer relationships, Amara has maintained friendships with the same girls since K at Ellerhorst and her first year at MFS. There have been growing pains this past year as girls get older and they have to learn to work through drama and conflict but Amara always comes to me to talk about what is going on. I cherish our heart to hearts; whether it be about friends, changes at school, struggles with something she is learning about or whatever. Amara and I are very close and I am honored that she and I share a deep bond where we talk about pretty much anything. Sometimes I have to remind her that she is still a kid (she wants in on all the adult stuff too!) but that curious nature is something I wouldn't change for anything in the world.

So on this, her tenth birthday, I am honored to share who she is more deeply and to take a look at then and now.

Amara was a healthy 9 lbs 2 oz at birth. She is now a tiny thing at 50 1/2 inches and 62 pounds. I often remind her that wonderful things come in small packages. 

With her Papa. Those two are pretty darn tight too! (and  even at day two, she was so observant!)

First real pizza at nana's at 7 months old!

With Bodhi, her cat brother