The Return of Halloween

Halloween is our favorite holiday. The girls start talking about and planning for it months before. They love coming up with costumes and have a blast knocking on doors for candy with pals. I love the cultural symbolism, the vast creativity and the opportunity for kids to be kids in such a silly and spooky way. Even Don is on board with this holiday. Don may say Christmas is his favorite time of year but each year he decks out the yard like a creepy cemetery, complete with a coffin he made (with a Skelton that lays inside!) Last year, we were all super bummed that Covid-19 put Halloween on hold. This year we made up for lost time! The girls came up with creepy, creative and whimsical costumes. We invited a bunch of friends (old and new) for pizza in the backyard and then we headed out to Hercules-by-the-Bay for trick or treating. And we were not the only ones. It was crowded. It seemed like so many others were feeling the exhilaration of the return of Halloween while still being safe with masks and distance. Houses were decked out, there was enough candy to make teeth rot a few times over and the weather was just perfect. 

Amara had been planning this years costume for a couple of years. Of course, as usual, her Dad helped her make her three headed person come to fruition (he is such a good sport as well as creative). I also helped with getting some ideas how to put it together from my super creative friends Janet, Agnes and the posse I went to Nola with. Don, Amara and even Aunt Paul did such a good job pulling it all together that Amara won most creative costume at her school. Havana took a little more time putting things together. She used a combination of things to make herself into an elf, sorcerer.  And of course, Don spend lunch breaks the days leading up to get the perfect robe (he is a good sport and a great dad). I did my share as well. I made the arrangements with other parents, ordered stuff online, fed the kids and then took them out to do the actual trick or treating. When I saw these tween and teens out and about giggling, comparing candy, oohing and ahhinng at all the spooky and whimsical decorations it made my heart happy. Our Soul Child should always be allowed to be free and have fun. I loved seeing that our older kids were allowing themselves to be kids. We were all so thrilled for the return of Halloween, despite on-going pandemic concerns. So to Covid we said, boo and had a great time anyway.

Our front yard.

Scenes from Quarantine (Not Quite the End)

 

I was hopeful last July, when I made #10 in his series of posts about Covid and Quarantine, that we were out of the woods.  In many ways we are but life is still very far from normal. Here in California (and in some places across the USA; it depends on the State) we still wear masks inside for shopping, events and in school. But kids are back in person. Yahoo! Restaurants are open again and it has been such welcomed event, to meet friends, to break bread and catch up. I have only gone out a few times but it was both refreshing to get out and odd because we were cooped up so long. I even resumed our book club again and we met three times for outdoor dining and plan to do indoor next time again. I was thrilled to get out and talk books but I also felt it was good modeling in self-care for the girls.  

There are concerts happening and folks are traveling again (we never really stopped, having made a couple of trips to get Nana and to go to Hawaii). Amara started High School and is doing sports for the first time. But she had to start with wearing masks, while running and playing soccer (thankfully that ended). When folks come over (a rare event), we have them wear a mask inside. We still are not sure if we or they are safe and don't want to take any chances. But...many are still not vaccinated and there are new variants on the rise. With the first day of Winter today, the cases are high, hospital intakes increasing, we are far from out of the woods from this pandemic. And still, our family tries to move forward as best as we can. 

Getting out over the past month has included some fun and memorable times. We took a day trip to Apple Hill later in September, had an outdoor Girl Scout event at Camp Bothin in Ocober,  went trick or treating later than month and Don and I even went to General Hospital event up in Sacramento for the day. We had not been out together in more than two years!  We even had Thanksgiving this year with Don's side of the family. Nana came for ten days and joined us.  While she was visiting, she took Amara, Havana and Tamsin (who has been the only kid in our house the entire pandemic) to the movies. There were only about six people in the theatre but it was a huge milestone to see the Big Screen again . We took a road trip to both Socal and Norcal in August including a visit to Universal Studios.  Since starting Bentley, Amara has done some safe socializing with her new pals from school (hanging out in Berkeley, in backyards). Havana has made new friends at school but they have not socialized outside of school yet. She is more content to stay at home, read, play with the cats and watch movies. 

We have for sure been busier than we had been for the past eighteen months. And still, I happily remain working from home. When the kids are done with school and sports, we are for the most part still at home. I spend almost all my time in the house, unless we do some outing but mostly it's driving the kids to and from school.  So when the once a month book club occurs, or a day trip to the foothills was on planned, it feels like I am venturing out to something much more exciting and adventurous. 

Our family also experienced a tremendous loss these past few months. Our beloved grandmother/great abulea Melba transitioned. I traveled to Miami to see my side of the family. The kids and Don could not go with school and all (plus the funeral arrangements were all up in the air.) Then I went on to a long planned trip to NOLA with my sister Kim and some friends for some milestone October birthdays. I had long talks with the girls about the dualities of life; death and celebrations of birth.  Unexpected changes and going with the flow; of cherishing life as much as we can. If anything, Covid has also taught us those very valuable lessons.

What a strange time of history we are in. We have gone almost two years of mostly self-isolation or limited circles. We are unsure when this will change and that is unsettling. To say our children will never forget this time, is an understatement. Covid has changed all our lives. We are cautious, more introverted, more grateful, more grumpy. But like everything in this life, there is a Divine Order and so there are many things are play. There has been much time for soul searching, purging and cleaning our physical environments, getting creative with time and space, figuring out what is important and how we want to move forward as a human race. There is (too) much division. Something that has always plagued human kind but I am hopeful that these times are the start of transformation. Before I even got pregnant, I invited forth souls who wanted to be part of the transformation process that we need; for souls who want to be good, helpful, citizens of the planet. So with that in mind, I hope for my two small gems, these crazy Covid times have planted seeds that will one day sprout good change in the world. For now though, we move forward one day at a pandemic time.

Havana goes to Middle School

After a year and a half of being in a world wide pandemic,  where the kids only did the last 6 weeks of the school year in person, we were very much looking forward to in-person learn resuming.  However, the start of this school year meant new schools for  both Havana and Amara. It was going to be a huge transition, having been at MFS for their entire school life.   It was a big step, returning to school and being in a new place.  Havana however, having had a first row seat to what Amara (and her peers) experienced in the middle school, was very much ready for a different experience. So it was with excitement and a bunch of nerves, that Havana started Middle School in one of our local public schools.

Initially, I thought the public Middle School would be the best option. I liked the classes, extra curriculars and larger social pool.  But after talking with Havana and taking in who she is now, I realized that such a larger school,  with crowds of loud kids and a huge campus, might not be in her best interest. We did try to get her into some independent schools but the Universe had other plans.  There was one option that could have worked. There was Stewart School, a K-8 school that had the middle schooler's in a wing of their own. The size was much smaller, meaning a quieter, less stimulating environment and a campus that would be far easier to navigate. There was a catch however.  This small school was very coveted and the chance of a transfer was slim.  I explained that to Havana and then I reminded her of the power to manifest what she wanted for school. We talked about seeing herself in the school, walking around and I even drove by the school so she could see it.  When we did that, she stated that she knew that would be the school for her. I told her to work her magic but to understand there was still a good chance it would not work out. 

We waited weeks  and months for the transfer notice.  Then on June 30th-Havana's 12th birthday, a full month after we were told we should have had our notice, we got a letter in the mail. I was praying it would be a happy birthday present. Havana opened the letter and there it was, Transfer Accepted. Happy Birthday Magic, for sure.  Havana was visibly relieved. So was I. With under 40 kids and 3 teachers in her grade, this would help the transition to public school go much smoother.

It turned out our neighbor (and another former MFS kid),  was at Stewart for years.  His mom and I are friends so I got a lot of information and as time got nearer, we decided to carpool together.  I have been over the moon to do morning drop offs. The six minute commute is a breeze and I get to take Havana to school.  For the girls entire school life, I have only been able to drive on Fridays (my day off). I love the mom job of school transportation.  Because of the still in place Covid restrictions, I can't go on campus.  I have no idea what things look like beyond the cafeteria, office and library (our GS troop used this site for a year) so dropping off helps me feel a wee bit more connected to Havana's school. 

The first day I was more a bundle of nerves than Havana was.  How would she do? Would she be okay switching classrooms? Would the kids be nice?   Would she sit by herself at lunch?  Would she be okay? I know, I know;  millions upon millions of kids do this. But we were in a sweet, safe and small elementary school for years. This was a big leap. My concerns were relieved when at  pick up (where the entire family went to greet here because I was not the only one who was worried how it went!), Havana came through the gate happy and looking like she'd always been there. On that first day, she connected with a small group of peers, ate lunch with them and decided she really liked her main teacher.  It was a collective sigh of relief. And as school as progressed in Fall, Havana has been thriving in her classes, coming into her own sense of school dress, making friends and even enjoying PE. The only downside is that she won't eat the free school lunches. I was so hoping to not have to make lunch anymore!!  There are the pre-teen moods I am not too fond of either but those don't cross over into school.  Havana had a great Montessori foundation and I am sure that is what helped her to make this move.  Naturally bright, she loves the school work and she enjoys her larger social pool. It's not too big but big enough.  Havana is not sure what will happen after Middle School but for now, fingers crossed, things will continue to go well in her new school.

                                                                   

Heading to High School

 

First Day at Bentley High School,  8/26/2021.

This past August, Amara began high school.  Yes, Amara is a freshman! What a huge milestone for her and our family. But before I get into that, I have to share how she worked her tail off during her entire time at Montessori Family School, with the goal of getting in the high school of her choice. Amara has always been a committed student, who is also a gentle but strong leader amongst her peers. Even when times were (very) tough in Middle School, she persevered. Her goal was to get into a high school where she could continue to learn, ask questions of her teachers to help her learn, do sports and to have a bigger social network so that she could make new friends.  It was a tough application year for independent schools but Amara did make into her top school of choice (and was also waitlisted and later offered a spot at her second choice). I cried tears of joy, my heart full of pride for this young being who strived to make her high school dream a reality. Because the path to getting there was fraught with so much tension and stress, the reward of her acceptance was so much sweeter. 

Prior to the first day of school, there was an equal mixture of excitement and nerves.  That was understandable. Amara being Amara, well there were some dramatic moments, where she expressed both the thrill and the terror. I hate to remind her, once again. that all new things take time to adjust too. That it was exciting but scary too. We bought new clothing, shoes and got haircuts, which helped fray some nerves. I took off the first day to drive her and cried when I drove away.  I just couldn't comprehend that Amara was going to High School. By the end of that first day, Amara was absolutely certain she made the right choice for high school. She'd been practicing for cross country for the two weeks leading up to the first day. This allowed her to get to know some peers. And within the first few weeks, she and a group of others students formed their own circle that was welcoming and inclusive. It was a breath of fresh air for Amara. No bullies, no exclusion.  I have had to remind her that it will take time for her to find her true peeps but for now, there have been social outings to Berkeley, Walnut Creek, swimming at friends houses and more. All the things she longed for but was not attainable in a much smaller school setting and then with the pandemic hitting. Amara has had some bumps getting up to speed with Algebra and Physics but she is acing Spanish, English and History.  Her peer advisor told us during conference that in most classes, Amara is speaking up. That is a huge step for her. In MFS, the only feedback we heard consistently over the years is that Amara did not speak up that much. Well, she seems to be coming into her own at last.

It's too early to tell how things will go moving forward but I suspect it won't be that much different. Highs and lows of high school are sure to follow but overall I think she will continue loving the academic environment, sports and social aspects of her high school. And I can't exclude art, which she loves. I have heard Amara say many times that she loves her school. I not not seen her this happy about school in several years. My heart is very relieved.  So here's to a pretty good start of high school, the last years of her childhood. It is bittersweet but I am going to relish each moment with her.

Norcal Road Trip~Part 1

We returned home from our SoCal road trip late on Sunday evening.  We all unpacked, crashed and spent the next day doing some things around the house for school and work. We then packed up again for an early morning drive up the coast to our first stop in Gualala. A two night stay at a friends Airbnb nestled in the peaceful redwoods allowed time to rest and explore the coast a bit. A long days drive up to Ft. Bragg followed including traversing over a very windy highway 1 to 101. We felt like we were actually in the world of Harry Potter. Huge, thick redwood forests, moist and deep green. It felt like were were in a different reality. We made it to Humboldt tired and ready for food and rest.  We met Uncle Mark (my oldest brother) for dinner before crashing for the night. We spent a day hiking in Fern Gully, exploring some quaint coastal towns and navigating some grumpy preteen energy. We had a great time even with those bumpy moments. 

My dear friend Holly (we go back to 1988) joined us for our adventures and then treated us to a splendid morning Kayaking on the Humboldt Bay. that was a most wonderful and meaningful gift. We saw seals as we made our way around the Bay, under the fog that is a fixature on the California coastline. 

Along the ride home, we made a spontaneous spot along the river for a jump in the river. It was hot, the river cool and it was a good time for all.  I had many memories come flooding back while passing through my hold hometown in Southern Humboldt. It made me pause and reflect on how my life looked then and how it looked now. Some things have change drastically, while others remain the same. Traveling, spiritual practice and time with loved ones, those are things that have only grown stronger over time. For that, I am thankful.  

We made it home, once again late in the evening, tired and a ready for our own beds but thankful for living in a such a glorious state. One where we could just get in the car, hit the road and amazing adventures. We are fortunate and we are grateful.

Amara & Holly in a shop owned by a local tribe family. It was pretty cool in there.

My big brother Mark & I.