Fall Follies

 

Other than being on strike for ten long weeks this fall, there were some other major highlights and memorable moments for our family.

Just before the summer officially ended, Havana had surgery to remove her tonsils. She had been having pain in her throat for a very, very long time. We saw the surgeon late last Spring and by that time, with all the summer plans made, we decided to wait until early September. We figured 2 weeks out of school would not be so terrible since Havana was not keen on return to Stewart. Who knew she'd be in a new school (and did not want to miss so much time from studies and friends) and that I'd be on strike for ten long weeks. That crazy thing was that I would be on the picket line before and during her surgery and that would be a day of bargaining. While Havana was upstairs in the OR at Oakland, I was downstairs on the line, with headphones in, trying to stay engaged to the half-baked negotiations that Kaiser was pretending to be doing.

Thankfully, the surgery went well. Two weeks of post-op rest was no walk in the park. But Havana is a warrior and she made it through. It was very hard however, to see my girl just pre-op. I said my prayers to the Great Creator, to keep her safe and, give thanks, all went well.

My spiritual teacher/mother, Bella once said to me, "If you knew what was going to happen, yo would not leave the house." That has proven true too many times to count.

While those two events  were quite a bit taxing, we had some wonderful moments as well. Last Spring, my bio dad told me about a half sister (from my grandfather's side) that I did not know about (well I did find out about 2 years ago but could not find her without his input and it was not until this year that he felt comfortable sharing it). Long story short, I found her and and we have been in touch since April. This Fall, when my Tia traveled to Las Vegas from Key West with some of her family, I joined them. It was a bittersweet reunion. My aunt Martha is a lovely, warm, kind, funny and adventurous person. I had picked up on these qualities before met and in person, she was even more solid and down to earth. I was left feel deeply, deeply thankful to have her in my life but equally as angry that no one told me about her until now. I am going to hold tight to this relationship and plan on bringing the family to Florida soon so they too can get to know Tia Martha.

Also, this Fall, the whole family went to see Elton John for his farewell tour. It was Amara's second concert but Havana's first. We were literally in the nose bleeds; the last row! But, we could see him on the screen and hear his unmistakable, powerhouse voice, clearly through the speakers. I really wanted the girls to experience a musical legend such as Elton John and I too, wanted to hear him live. It was a great night for all.

During the strike, I had volunteered to do attend some political events to help garner support for our cause. I got to meet some interesting political figures, from the Lt. Governor, to the SF city attorney and eventually the Mayor Sacramento, who meditated to help us finally settle the contact. I normally don't give a crap about public figures or celebrities. I care about who a person is. But; when I got to meet Speak Pelosi, that was something different. She is not only one of the most powerful people in the US government but when I heard her speak (and later than got to speak with her, to thank her for sending a letter to the Kaiser CEO on our behalf), I knew she was a woman with a kind, generous heart and a spine of steel. A warrior. It was an honor to meet her. I might not agree with all her policies but overall, she is one solid sister. What a special opportunity.   

The strike meant a lot of new experiences. The other stand out was participating in a die-in, in front of Kaiser headquarters. I had never heard of this form of civil action and I had no idea what would be it's impact. Well, Kaiser was not pleased, calling it a 'scorch the earth' tactic in a public statement to the media. I was left proud of our action.

at the die-in

This Fall also meant another year around the sun for me. The family made it a special day but perhaps the most touching thing was that my friend Mike and his wife Noelle (they are more like family), sent 3 dozen New York bagels from our favorite bagel shop, Murray's Bagels. OMG! There went my diet! But it was so worth it. We ate bagels for weeks. (nothing like taking a frozen NY bagel out, putting it the oven for few minutes.) On my actual birthday, well it got off to a rocky start (I'll just say, teenagers in the house) but then we headed up to Petaluma for thrifting and an impromptu dinner with friends (at a place called, what else, New York Pizza!) It was a warm, sunny day, which I was so appreciative of. With so much time and energy going into the strike, it was nice to take a break from it all. The girls love thrifting, I love the North Bay, Don likes to go to new places. It really was a sweet day.

at a gallery/gift shop in Petaluma.

This Fall, our niece and the girls cousin, Jenny, turned 50. We celebrated her milestone day down in Santa Cruz, cheering her on, as she completed her first triathlon. It was inspiring and an honor to share the day with Jenny, who is a remarkable person and someone that we love and respect deeply. The other highlight of the day was that the girls got to spend quality, fun time with their Aunt Judy, Uncle Tim and cousins Ben and Theo (Jenny's boys). We even had a sleep out at Tio/Tia's the night before. Havana made a lasagna that became legend by the time Thanksgiving rolled around.

On the topic of Thanksgiving, (or as I call it 'Save the Turkey Day'), we gathered at Edd/Janet's with much of the Coughlin clan. There were a few missing sadly,  but it was very nice to be with family in person again. The cousins, both young and old, had a great time hanging out, playing games, telling jokes and breaking bread together. Some special memories were made for sure.

And now, we are almost into the first official days of winter. It has been cold. Cold enough for there to be frost warnings. Cold enough to have to start the car in the morning before you get in. But as we approach yet another change in season, I am thankful all that we have gone through; the hard, the challenging, the good, the memorable. This life, it is both a school and a playground. I am thankful we have the chance to experience it all.

    

Trick or Treat (Halloween 2022)

For the first time since the girls we little, our favorite holiday, Halloween, had a little less pizazz.  And that felt a tad bit sad.

Amara is a sophomore in high school, Havana a middle schooler. They are more concerned with hanging out with friends than hanging out in a pumpkin patch. Sure, they into their costume designing and decorating the front yard with creepy goblins, coffins, and skeletons. But when it came down to Halloween night, Havana opted last minute to stay near her school, to do trick or treating with school pals (and that meant she did not have her awesome parking cone costume with her and no photos this year). Amara ended with just two friends, trick or treating in our neighborhood, without any adults.

In years past, we have a half a dozen or so kids gather, eat pizza and then head out for a couple of hours of sugar hunting. Every year, from the time they were months old, Don and I would be with the girls,  knocking on doors in the beginning, to staying back on the side walks when they were old enough to knock themselves, and always walking until our feet hurt. But as I mentioned, things have changed. I have girls that are teens; they are growing and changing; becoming more of who they are, and as they figure that out along the way, it means a shift in some of our family routine. And that meant our favorite holiday looked a little different. Havana did her own thing, Amara doing her thing, and Don and I not even being part of any of it. I am happy for their independence but sad at the same time.  

This all feels bittersweet. I am thankful for the years of sweet memories and I am grateful that my two small gems have a full, rich life, with friends, creative hearts and a love of Halloween that lives on. Even though it looks a little different. 

Back to School (8th & 10th years)

 

Back to school  it that what the title of this blog post says? Isn’t it almost Christmas? What the heck Anjahni? Yes yes yes. The ten week strike that ended at the end of October took almost everything out of me. With my commitment to the bargaining committee, running a hardship fund for those on the picket lines, being on the strike line myself as well as being a steward; all these things took everything out of me for ten long weeks. I’m still recovering. I’ve been thinking about when I would have the energy to get back to the blog and document some of the milestones of my two small gems.  This morning at 5:15 AM I woke up, inspired at last to get to writting. So yes, back to school is this blog post, written in December. 

This August Havana and Amara started 8th and 10th grads respectively. Let's start with Ms Havana as she had a quite a big change.  Havana started school at a new school, The Canyon School. We pulled her out of Montessori family after six grade and put it into a public school for seventh grade. For a multitude of reasons, it just wasn’t a great fit. Teachers left early in the year and never came back, the kids were not kind and a little too grown up for Havana, who operates from a different place.  She started telling us at the end of the last school year that she was refused to return to Steward but we had no choice at that time to let her know she would have to return to the same. school. But at the same time, we put it out to the universe to please find a place for Havana to go to school, if it was for her highest and best good. 

And apparently it was

Two weeks before the start of the school year, I happen to be in front of my computer late one evening, and this email popped up, saying that there was openings at The Canyon School. The Canyon School as a public Montessori/Waldorf style school in Canyon California. It sits in the redwood forest just outside of Moraga. I has put Amara on Caynon's waitlist when she was four years old.  It was not meant to be for Amara but when I saw that they had an opening for 8th grade, I couldn’t believe it.  Canyon is a very coveted school, with only 75 children,  with mixed age classrooms. I immediately sent an email to the school and long story short, two weeks later, Havana was starting school in this precious little school house in the redwood forest. I personally felt so relieved that she was going to be able to finish up her middle school years in a Montessori type setting. I always loved Montessori family school and was sad when we had to leave when Havana finished upper elementary. Returning to a Montessori inspired school felt like the universe supporting Havana in a place where she learns well as well as having closure to finish her last year before high school in this academic environment.

The school, because it is public, adheres to much different standards than the private sector. So we are seeing improvements in area of math and other areas. She did learn a lot in her previous Montessori environment, but math was always lacking and she needed support in other areas as well. Havana could definitely apply herself a little bit more in school and that would help her but this new environment has given the academic structure and lessons to allow her to really move forward.  

While the academics have been up to par, I know that the social environment is equally or more important at this age. Havana’s 6/7/8 classroom has allowed for a bigger pool of friends. The school just happens to be a little bit bigger. There’s eight kids in her grade and 26 total in the class, Havana has found a little group of people and she has told me she feels much more comfortable with the type of students that attend Canyon. She told me “they have hippie moms too.” When I asked questions around what that meant, she told me that the other kids seem down to earth and more approachable. She’s gone out on multiple social outings with her friends after school on weekends and even felt comfortable to have her first sleepover ever. Havana has always done things when she’s ready and apparently this year she was ready to do have a sleepover and having the right school environment with friends that were more aligned with her supported that. We hope that the rest of the year goes smoothly for Havana and that she is well prepared for high school come next fall.

Amara, has started 10th grade, which I can't wrap my head around. She started school with a bang, joining what seems a million clubs and signing up for two art classes, making her schedule quite full. She decided to try out tennis this fall and continues to fill her social circle. She’s learning who her friends are and who aren’t. As Amara comes more into herself, she’s learning more of what she appreciates in others and who she enjoys spending her time with. She is still finding her way with who her peeps are at Bentley but a few girls have remained in her inner-circle and she remains close to her two pals from MFS. Amara is a social person so having a balance between school and social activities is important for her. Even with sports, being on a team, those things nourish Amara.

For Don and I the new year has been an adjustment. Getting Havana to her new school and Amara to her school has been quite the challenge. Tons of driving and with the price of gas over five dollars a gallon, well it’s been hitting us financially as well. I don’t think the kids are able to quite appreciate the sacrifices we are making. I’m seeing that teenagers are very much all about themselves but we do get the occasional thank you and the fact that they are doing well in their respective schools shows, and have healthy social lives, makes it worth it.

As we get close to Christmas and the first here half of the school year coming to close, both girls are very excited about trips in 2023. Amara was selected to go to England in March to study Shakespeare. To say she is excited is an understatement. She’s preparing to do some work over the winter break to help support her trip. 

Havana's school sends the 8th years to Costa Rica for 10 days each May.  The cost is covered by the school but we do have to prepare her mentally and emotionally to travel so far from home for that long. She’s not quite there yet but she’s getting there. I think the fact that she’s been to Costa Rica and she feels so comfortable with her school will support her and making a decision to go. 

So there it is, the back to school blog post completed in December. I trust that the girls will both have  great rest of the school year. And next year Havana goes to high school and Amara will be a junior. I just can’t believe how fast they’ve been growing, how fast the years go by. 

So here’s to the 2022-2023 school year, a little late