At the Speed of Light

The school year is coming to a close. Amara will be wrapping up her 11th year and Havana her 9th year. That means Amara will be a senior in high school next year and will soon be on her way out of the nest, with Havana not that far behind her.

I always wanted to be a mom. Always. I always knew my life on this earth this time around would not be complete with our inviting forth some souls who wanted to be in my life, as a family.

I become a mom much later in life than I had hoped for and the day Amara was born was the best day of my life. When Havana was born, two years and three weeks later, that day became an equal tie for the best day of my life.

I loved each moment of their infant days. Even the hard days, sleepless nights, teething times, cranky, sick and tantrum moments. I would not change one single moment. 

I cherished it all, capturing it all with my photos, scrapbooks and this blog. 

And before I knew it, they crawled. Then they walked. Then they ran. Then they went to preschool and before I knew it Kindergarten. In the blink of an eye, they started middle school and now high school. 

And soon Amara will be leaving the nest and soon Havana afterwards.

I am not ready for this. 

I am really not ready for this.

Yes, life with teens is hard. 

But I am not ready for them to move beyond their teen years into adulthood.

I may be over trying to feed a family of four, 3 times a day, all who have varying preferences. 

I may able over asking for rooms to be cleaned and chores to be done.

I get frustrated when homework is not done and when their laundry is in baskets all over the house.

But I love hearing their laughter.

I love it when they share their clothing or ask for validation on the days choice of outfits.

I cherish seeing their accomplishments.

Amara has been working and driving.

Havana has been expanding her social circles and become more independent. 

When we can have dinner together (it is not a nightly routine anymore, sadly), I love the chatter and the stories of the day. 

I even secretly enjoy Havana’s sarcastic remarks.   

I love hearing about their days and when they face time me from their rooms because they do not want to walk a few feet down the hall.

I love our adventures, all our travels and overall, I just love that they are in my life.

I am not ready for their moving into adulthood. And, I have no choice.

So I write this rambling post, in hopes that one day, when they are on their own, long gone from their tough teenage years, they will read this and be reminded of much they were wanted, cherished and valued.