15!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Havana!

My baby girl is turning 15. Well into her teen years, we see Baby Girl maturing slowly but surely. In some ways, Havana is wise beyond her years her sense of humor is beyond her years as well. In other ways, she remains our baby girl, relishing being our little one. Sometimes that is to our delight and other times not so much. Yet overall, Havana is a light in our lives. She is a bright star, who never ceases to surprise and delight us.

Havana started high school at Bentley last Fall and made the steep leap as a Freshman, even though this has not been the easiest, while all high schools can be hard, Bentley is especially challenging as you are pushed hard.  Despite the challenges, Havana found her baring's with the support of Big Sister, new friends, and teachers. I think her parents were a part in her adjustment as well.  Havana has been pushed to work harder in school but is learning a great deal. Part of the learning are discovering what are her strengths and areas that are challenging and asking for support.

Havana has developed her own style over the past year. She sometimes follows fashion but only if she likes something. Havana is not one to follow the crowd. She has her own opinions and walks to her own beat. I not only support that, I admire that trait. I raised both of our two small gems to listen to their own hearts, to follow their own truths and to honor themselves. Havana does that fairly well. She is a teen so we do see the typical teenage angst over appearances and insecurities but we know that this is all part of natural development. We do have to do a bit of coaching and reflective feedback how how actions can impact others and how she impacts those in her life. This is an on-going lesson for Havana but Havana is thoughtful and takes things to heart.

Havana's skills in the kitchen continue to make our tastebuds dance. She makes a mean chocolate chip cookie, she bakes delicious cakes from scratch and recently she started making homemade pasta. When Havana does step into the kitchen to cook or bake, we are thrilled. We wish we would see more of this but we know that as she matures further that will occur naturally.

Havana remains the cat whisper in our home. She loves all the cats, well, she and Daisy are not that close but Rio, Samson, Kai and Simba are her buddies. She has done cat sitting and cat rescue and she always finds kittens and cats when we are out and about or traveling. If it were up to Havana we would have dozens of cats living in the house and in the yard!

All of these things are who Havana is as she approaches her fifteen year. I want to take some time to express how I feel about Havana and I experience my life with Baby Girl.

I love Havana beyond expression. She and I are alot alike. Some of the things I both admire and struggle with are things I see in myself. I always thought Amara and I were a lot alike but as Havana gets older and I see her force of nature, her subtle intensity and her independence, I see see a lot of myself in her, when I was that age. Some days I shake my head with a grin and some days I am exasperated! She tries my patience daily but at the same time her patience and calm nature is balm for me in many different ways. When it's just Havana and I, it's usually a wonderful time together. She is a great co-pilot; navigating our routes brilliantly. From the road to Hana a few years ago, to finding thrift stores throughout Northern California or a new place to eat or a old favorite. I feel confident, relaxed and at ease with Havana at my side. 

I always wanted to be a mom. When Amara was born, it was a long held dream come to reality and I thought life could not get any better. When Havana was born, within a couple of hours we were cuddled together in bed (and stayed that ways for years-co-sleeping for many years), I felt like I was in nirvana. Havana was my cuddly, sweet, juicy blueberry, who brought such joy to my life. I never knew my heart could expand like it did when Havana's soul landed in a body and I carried her into this life. I am so grateful she choose me as her mom. From the day she born, Havana has brought immense joy and delight into my life, into our families lives. The teenage years have brought difficult challenges with development issues and other struggles, that is true. These past years have been hard at times but underneath all of that, I see that shining light that filled my heart and soul since June 30, 2009. Havana is a special human being, with a bright light that she shines on those she loves. She is a great friend and has both maintained friendships she started school and formed new relationships. I see the way her friends treat her and I know she is loved, respected and appreciated by her peers. It warms my heart to she that she shows up in the world the way she does. The challenges at home stay at home, informing me that she has inner strength and resources to support herself. That assures me but it does not surprise me. Havana is a remarkable young person who has a bright future ahead of her.

For now however, I am grateful Havana is still young. She has several more years until she reaches adulthood. I hope she finds more joys and pleasures and hobbies. I hope she continues to set outside of her box and explores the world because she brings that light of hers where ever she goes and brightens the world at large.