Briones

Briones Regional Park is one of my favorite places to hike here in the East Bay. It is a beautiful, quiet, peaceful oasis. (www.ebp.org/parks/briones)

There are at least 4 entrances that I am aware of. We usually head into the park from Bear Creek Road. We have checked out two others entrances but it's been a few years since we tried those, so on this lovely sunny weekend, we headed to the entrance off Alhambra Valley Road. It's a narrow, winding road up to the trail head. The views along the way are just spectacular.

I love that Briones is just a few miles down the road. Less car time is better for our family and the planet. We do enough driving as it is, so we don't need to drive far to take a hike!


Because the beauty of Briones speaks for itself I will let my photos do the talking.

 

Spring Holy Days

Some spring holy days have come and gone this past week. It was a busy but fun several days of celebrating with family and friends.

Growing up Jewish, I always enjoyed Seder at my Aunt Maxine & Uncle Norman's. Being with my family was always fun & meaningful, even if it meant sitting through those l o n g Seders! This year, we were invited to Seder at our friends, Alissa, Steve & their cutie, Justin (Havana's gymnastics buddy). It would be my first in years and I was very excited.

It was a lovely Seder, held outside and catered to the fact that there were three 2ish year olds and one 4 1/2 year old. That meant it was not too long but we covered that which was most important. Havana, along with Justin and new friend Zach, enjoyed passover by running around and playing with Justin's toys! Amara was able to listen to the prayers and explanations and she tried several new foods. Don enjoyed his first Seder too. He was lucky in that it was not a more traditional one (i.e. one that goes on for hours!) And, if I may boast, Amara helped me make the matzoh ball soup!

Even though I am not religious (spiritual but not religious) I love the symbolism in this holy day; we get to think about those who were enslaved, how they were set free and what that freedom meant to them. We get to reflect on Moses & fellow Jews doubting Creator pre &  post freedom and the consequences of those doubts.

I made mention, on FB, of some of the questions I like to ask at this time of the year;

Where in my life am I a slave?

How can I set myself free?

Do I project a pharoh image on someone or something in my life?

When do I doubt?

What would support me in trusting more?

Because Passover was Yeshua's last supper, Easter was a couple of days later.
We spent time in the morning with our moms group at our annual Easter Egg Hunt. (For those who don't know I moderate a mom's group that is becoming a wonderful, growing community; WestCoCoMoms). My friends Val and Tiffany (and some of the other moms) helped create a great egg hunt for the little people! So much fun!

Some of Don's family, and one of my cousins, met us at the park and then later joined us back at home for brunch. It was a warm, sunny day. A real spring day, perfect for all the goings on. The girls were physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually full from all the good times with friends and family. It was a good day!

I also love the symbolism that Easter represents and I asked myself these questions:

What in my life has died but that I would like resurrected?

What in my life would I like to be be reborn?

These holy days mean different things for different people (and nothing for some). It is my intention to teach the girls about holy days from many cultures and to incorporate some of them/their meaning, into our lives that will teach them how to BE more fully every day, not just on isolated days. A lofty goal and perhaps too ideal, but in my search for healing and peace I know seeking the divine, or rather remembering the divine that is always present, is what makes for a richer and more fulfilling life.

                                                   

Havana's Judy

Sometime late last summer, my friend Val and I, made the rounds at the Carriage Hills neighborhood garage sale (which is our family's previous neighborhood). We scored some great finds including a wooden stepping stool, some toy shopping carts, books and I took home one very sweet doll.

I had been wanting to get Havana her own doll for some time as she seemed to take an interest in dolls. Amara, not yet at the sharing stage, would not part with any of her half dozen, plus, dolls. (Which by the way, she rarely played with). Havana was not happy about this and this would cause for many a hair pulling, arm biting, head hitting and more. So when I spotted a sweet doll at one yard sale, complete with a baby carrier, I thought "Perfect! Havana can have her own doll." (and, I also started planning on how to deal with Amara, who would be jealous of Havana's new doll, despite having more than enough of her own.)

When I asked how much the doll cost, I was surprised at the price. It was higher than one would normally expect at a garage sale. But the sellers were young girls, ranging in age from about 7-12. An adult intervened and told me that the girls, her nieces, were having to move and having to get rid of their things. This was not an easy task for them and that the doll I wanted was one of the girls most favorite. Her sisters chimed in at this point, making some comments how much their sister loved the doll.


Hearing that, I felt sad for the little girl who had to part with her special friend. I suggested she keep her but she said no, she was ready to part ways. Maybe they were just good at selling stuff but I could feel how difficult it was for the sisters to have to sell their things. Feeling sympathy for the girls, I happily forked over the money and wished them well in their new home.


As I walked to the car it hit me that I didn't know the doll's name. Silly mama! So I turned around and asked the young girl. Her eyes lit up when she told me, "Dooley" and I told her that I would make sure we keep her dolls name. And we did....for a about a minute.

When I brought Dooley home that summer day, Havana's own eyes lit up. She ran over and grabbed onto her new doll and that was it; it was love at first sight.When I told Havana the dolls name was Dooley she tried it out but soon after started calling her Judy. Havana was just around 26 months old, so her language skills were still developing. I think because Dooley sounds like Judy (in a 2 year old mind, at least) and Judy is the name of one of her dear aunts, Judy she became. And now Judy has become one of Havana's favorite friends. (This doll must have some good karma to be loved so much!!)


Judy is not her #1 special Lovey (Sucky, Sucky Bear takes that spot) but she spends a lot of time with Havana and gets to do things that Sucky doesn't get to do. Judy gets dressed and undressed, and dressed again! Judy does all kinds of things during Havana's (imagination) playtime, like go to school, go on vacation, eat, and she goes for rides in the baby doll stroller. And, of course, she naps in her carrier! Havana lets me know when Judy wants me to hold her because she 'needs a hug' or when she needs her clothing changed. It is very sweet to watch Havana interact with her dolly and I get a kick listening to Havana talk to her.


I don't think Judy has to worry about garage sales in her future. I think she will part of our family for a very long time to come!

They Grow So Fast

Yesterday afternoon, when I was putting away the third (or fourth?) load of laundry I decided to go through Havana's socks. She has one of those hanging baskets in her closet. One space is for her panties, one for matching socks and one for the lone, left behind socks. I try to keep those for awhile, as I will often find it's mate (which can reappear in a multiple of places, including the car, out in the yard, in my pocket, more often in Don's pocket, in the book basket, you get the point!). After a while, when it's apparent the lone mate will become single for life, I will toss the poor remaining one.

It must have been quite some time since I went through her socks because at the bottom of a small pile, I came upon one infant sock. As I held the teeny, tiny sock in my hand a wave of sadness rushed through my body, followed by the thought, "How did she grow so fast?"

Even as I type this, a day later, I feel tears forming at the reality that my babies are not babies any longer. Amara starts kindergarten in the fall and Havana preschool. I often call Havana, "Baby" when talking to her. She is, after all, my baby. Always will be, despite the increase in sock size. But still, seeing the reality of their growth before me is often hard to take. Yes, I want them to grow and live their lives as their soul has planned. But I also know that I don't have forever in this incarnation and I (mostly) regret that. I want to be with my beloveds always.

Just as I discovered this teeny sock, I was thinking about my task of laundry sorting and wanting to be downstairs playing with the girls. I was feeling some pangs of guilt that I wasn't right in front of them, engaging directly with them.

But then I realized, that I wasn't distracted. As I went up and down the stairs, I would stop and watch them with their dolls and the different ways they were dressing them. I would make comments, listen to their stories, answer one of Amara's endless questions. I could hear everything they were doing or saying, from their rooms and I was fully aware that even though I was not downstairs with them that I was with them. And they knew that because for the twenty minutes or so that I was engaged in laundry sorting they didn't argue once. But when I doing something but not present to them, they will start fighting. Wow! What a realization. What an 'Ah Ha!' moment.

Maybe one of the reasons I was so moved by the infant sock was because infancy (once I settled in, which was about a month after Amara was born) was a time where I felt the most present, the most alive, I have ever felt in this incarnation. I loved having my girls sleeping next to me, carried on me, I loved changing diapers, nursing,dressing, everything. Sure I was tired, sure it was taxing on my marriage at times, sure it was hard in many, many ways. But I never felt so me as when those little beings first graced my life. And by feeling me I felt them, in a way that was beyond description. I don't think anyone felt or was with me that way when I was so new to this earth plane. Being there for them and loving them in such a present way was healing on many levels and set the stage for how I want to parent them.

Those early moments of clarity and ease with the girls are becoming harder to experience on daily level. I can't expect that it would continue to be so easy with all that goes on with two energetic girls and the mundane necessities of life, like laundry sorting. With a newborn there is much more room for ease in all the hardness of being a new mom. Sounds crazy but that was the truth for me.

But those initial moments planted seeds of what could be and what I want to be in our family life.Which may be why strive to feel more patience, more presence, my clarity. The question I have is, how can I feel these things while attending to the mundane and when the moments are full of tears, hair pulling and not wanting to share. I didn't realize this blog entry would tie in to the one I wrote on presence. But writing does that, ties things together or sometimes creates even more inquiry and more questioning. I have no answer how to do this. Just the desire. So I will sit with this and let it stew a bit.

Monterey

Living in California is a blessing in and of itself. Some of the most spectacular land and seascape on the planet can be found here. We are very fortunate to live and play here. We are even more fortunate that our professional work affords us the means to explore some of these sacred spots.

We had a long weekend this past week so we took the extra time off to head south a couple of hours to one of those special places here in California; the Monterey Peninsula.

We arrived in Seaside (just next door to Monterey) in the late afternoon. The sun was strong and warm. I knew the forecast called for rain on Saturday so I suggested we check in to our hotel and then head straight out for the beach. All were on board, so off we went. We didn't change our clothing. No bathing suits needed here because we wouldn't actually be swimming. This confused Amara, who was associating beach and ocean to our recent trip to Hawaii.

For those not familiar with the coastline here in the West, it's not like back East or down in Miami. The water is too cold for swimming (surfers wear wetsuits) but the sand and sea still make for great exploring and playing. And explore and play we did! After more than two hours in the car we had lots of energy to burn.

What fun we had running through the river that met the ocean. And how exciting to run from the waves that came rushing onto shore. (I had to suppress a laugh at Havana, who got frightened. I was not laughing at her fears but the look on her face...so glad the camera caught that expression!) And what a thrill to find natural sand slides that the girls (and their papa) climbed up over and over again! I am not too fond of sand (other than walking on) so I enjoyed myself by watching them.

At some point, I looked in a different direction and saw an abandoned bucket on the sand. There were no other humans in site. No little hands to play with the pink bucket. It was then that I realized we were having such a great time without anything other than ourselves. Our own bag of beach toys were abandoned way down the beach, not being needed that day. I was reminded once more, that we need so much less than I often assume and that left to their own imaginations the girls can have a fantastic time creating by themselves.

After an hour so so on the beach it was time go. (Noticing Havana's naked bum was turning red was one of the indicators!) It took a while but we finally persuaded the girls to get going. A quick bath at our hotel room, followed by the girl's full, hands-on inspection of our room, we headed out to find some grub.

One of the things I love about going to new places is trying new food. Another thing I love is meeting local folks. We experienced both when we stumbled up a great El-Salvadoran restaurant (El-Migueleno). The authentic food, the warm people who worked there and the relaxed atmosphere made for a successful dinner outing. We enjoyed it so much we went back the next night with our friends, the Hass-Jajeh who would be joining us.

We met up with our friends, Roger, Ed and their sweet girls, Hana & Angela the next day. Our girls were quite excited to see them and get the chance to explore the aquarium with them. The day was rainy and cold so it was a perfect outing. As our family was leaving breakfast, divine intervention stepped in. Don turned around and saw an old co-worker and friend from L.A. It was most definitely divine intervention. The two spent time catching up and exchanging contact information.

Something of importance that I want my girls to know, is that when we run into an old friend or even current friends, or when we hear the same thing repeatedly in a short period of time, it is a sign; there is something to be noticed. Creator is giving a message. The Universe will orchestrate who and when we run into people for a reason. In this case, it seemed Don was meant to catch up with someone from the past and who shared some valuable information. Sometimes the reason(s) are not clear and that is when we must listen to our gut and heart to find out why Creator orchestrated this (un) chance meeting. And we must keep our gut and heart open and listening more often than not because the signs and messages come anytime and anywhere; even in a small hotel in Seaside, Ca.

We had a really fun rest of the day exploring the aquarium and by nap time we all crashed! There is nothing like a mid-day siesta to recharge body, mind, spirit.

In the afternoon, once again, less turned out to be more! There was a lake a few steps from the hotel so we didn't need to get in the car. We had heard about Dennis the Menace park but there was no need to seek it out. Instead, we walked (well some ran!!) around the lake, said hello to the many birds and ducks and eventually made our way a playground. Amazing how we could be anywhere on the planet and a playground can just make the day! We had almost drag all four little ladies away for supper to El-Miqueleno!

An after dinner walk down a cold Cannery Row and a stop for yogurt and we were done! Well, the adults. The girls were all riled up!!! But we headed back. Our family enjoyed the hotel's hottub. Silly me thought it would relax the girls for bed!!

By (loud, begging) request, we made another visit to the aquarium in the a.m. (it's really nice getting there when it opens; few people, less frenetic, more manageable and enjoyable). We explored the jellyfish and seahorse, played in the kids area and then outside, had an early lunch (with an incredible view including two otters playing the ocean) and then it was time to call it a weekend. It never ceases to amaze me how a few days away can feel like a week. I guess that's what being in the moment and having so much fun can do!

A great weekend excercusion with our good friends made for some sweet memories for all! I am very thankful for that our lives are rich in so many ways!

~Makin Stuff~

In my efforts to spend more mindful time at home with Amara and Havana, a couple of weeks back, I put in an order with Discount School Supplies for new craft items. I find that being at home is more distracting than when we are outside of our home. There is always something to be done inside that takes my attention from the girls (laundry, cooking, cleaning, checking e-mail, returning a phone call from 2 weeks ago!). And with all the recent rain and cold we were inside quite a bit more than usual. (our lovely yard was probably missing the running feet and exploring hands of the girls!!)

A couple of years back, my friend Nicole turned me onto Discount School Supplies a couple,when I was looking for projects for Amara's birthday party. (http://www.discountschoolsupplies.com/) So when the girls were asleep, I poured over their on-line catalog looking for very simple craft projects and supplies. I am a clumsy person by nature. Not good with hand coordination. Which means drawing, putting things together, baking, etc., are not things I manage well. Thus, I needed simple items that I could do with the girls too. When I came upon bags of mosaic pieces, wooden frames & colored canvas, I was stoked! I knew we could pull off some basic projects that would be fun together time!

To be able to order anything on-line and have it delivered to my door in a couple of days time, has made my life so much easier. The jaunting task of getting the girls ready, getting them in the car, taking them to a store, trying to pay attention to what I need while reminding them every 5 seconds, not to touch everything they see and to stop fighting over what they grabbed, is exhausting at best. I am so thankful for the Internet and Internet shopping! But I digress. Forgive me.


The next day, I made a trip to Thrift Town (www.thriftown.com), the bomb, of thrift stores and went through the glass items in the household section. For under a buck each, I found some great glass pieces just perfect for our mosaic project. And when the box arrived 2 days later, Amara couldn't contain herself. She wanted to "do mosaic project NOW." For the next week or so, in 15-30 minute increments, we sat and worked together. (Work is the term used in Montessori and one we use often when doing not only crafts, but workbooks, handwriting, and numbers.)

Amara is at the age where she can sit for longer periods. It's quite enjoyable working alongside her. From the photos, it is obvious that she prefers doing her work naked! Well, she likes doing most things without clothing on! Ah, my free spirited first daughter! Havana, while she enjoys craft time, prefers painting the table, painting the wall and reaching over and painting her sister's projects! Redirecting her & playing referee is not that enjoyable! But still, she has managed to make some really lovely frames.

Craft time is also a time for me to practice letting go. I hate messes. I love to clean up. So it's good for me to let the girls just go at it until they are done. Sometimes I have to sit on my hands (figuratively speaking!) so I don't start cleaning up as they work. I want them to work freely. And if that means making a huge mess, so be it. I have to let go with my OCD tendencies. It never ceases to amaze me, how many times a day, and in so many mundane ways, my girls serve as teacher to me.

In our efforts to stay connected to some of our far away family, we will be packing up some of our projects and sending them off to the East Coast. (The frames were perfect for some photos we took in Hawaii, that we have been wanting to share.) Amara did make it clear that, "...some are for our family."  Of course, keeping some of their creations is a must.

There is something warm, real and joyful in seeing a child's handmade craft or drawing in the house. (I have a wall at work just for the children who draw while waiting for their parents and of course, my girls work is there too.) It is not only a piece of beauty (maybe only to the parents eyes!) but a reminder of the presence of the little lives which have graced our lives.