Grandma Ruth

My maternal grandmother Ruth is someone special. Sadly, I didn't get the chance to grow up around her. Didn't even get to meet her till my early twenties. And when I did meet her, along with my great grandmother Stone, I realized that I came from a long line of strong, smart, adventerous, independent, and fiery women. And those are qualities that I have a great respect and admiration for. I see those qualites in my girls, and while they frustrate the heck out of me at times, I am mostly proud, and relieved, because I know that means my girls have a backbone, that they have what they need inwardly to meet life's adversities as well as having the curiousity to explore some of the wonderful things living on this planet has to offer them.

My grandmother was recently in California for my cousin's high school graduation, which meant we got to visit with her again. It was the second time in about six months she made the cross country journey. This time she flew but last fall, my young at heart grandmother, drove,  yes drove, the 2,570 miles from her home in Cordele, Georgia to her youngest son's house in Sacramento, California. My Uncle Wayne accompanied her but still, 2,570 miles for an 86 year woman. That's amazing! And it wasn't her first time. A couple of years back she also drove to visit her son and us grandkids. Remarkable. That is the word that comes to mind when I think of my grandmother. She truly is remarkable.

And this adventerous, free-spirited way was not limited to my grandmother. Her mother was a pretty strong, idendepent woman herself. During the course of discovering my family history, I learned that my Great Grandma Stone, was in an unhappy, unhealthy marriage. In those days, a woman married with children did not walk away from a marriage. That could have been considered scandalous, especially in the south. But Grandma Stone knew that staying in a sitatuion that was not the best for her kids was more important than the social norms of those days.  She left her marriage and eventually remarried to a man whom she had more children with and lived with until he passed away. I have the upmost respect for her decision. What a brave woman. It's an honor to be related to a woman who thought and lived outside the box. Grandma Stone, she lived until 96.

This a photo of poor quality but it's one of the only one
I have with Grandma Stone (1992).

Grandma Ruth had to make some of her own hard decisions. Her first husband, my grandfather, turned out not to be good husband or father material. He choose to leave his family in Miami and return to Indiana where he was originally from. My grandmother eventually made her way to Key West to work and raise her kids. In those days, Key West, was a very tight knit island community where the children could run around and play in the warm sun, all day, without worry.

My grandmother remarried to a Key West fireman, Charles Torress. They had two sons together. In Key West, the community was largely Cuban, so my three Uncles were raised with their Cuban-American father and his family along with my grandmother and grandma Stone, who also lived in the Keys. Life was moving along when tragedy struck; Charles was killed while on duty. Grandma was left a widow with four young children. But as hard as that was, my grandmother didn't let that stop her from taking care of her family. She worked two jobs and managed to make ends meet. My birth mother, Susan, who was the oldest of the four, was old enough to help out when my grandmother had to work. Key West was small enough that other families and friends also looked out for my grandmother and her family.

Eventually grandma remaried a navy man, John 'Ski' Ciesmieroski. They were transferred from idealic Key West to San Diego. Thankfully, life got a little easier for my grandmother and she remained married to Grandpa Ski for close to fifty years. Sadly, he passed away a couple of years ago. I am not sure how my grandmother has coped with so much loss; she lost a daughter and a husband in the early part of her life and the death of her mother, son and grandpa Ski in later years. But that's part of what makes my grandmother so extrordinary; she is so tough and she remains positive and upbeat, even in the darker moments of human life. Her strength and ability to carry on is not only an example to follow but I see where I get some of my own tenacity. I see this in my sister Kim too. It appears that this side of the family has some strong (some might call it stubborn) traits but I am most thankful for that.

My grandmother is quick to put me in check when I complain or say something not so nice about someone and that has helped me to be a better person. She says what she needs to, is direct as an arrow moving toward it's target and don't dare to think anyone can get over on her. I made that mistake recently and she flat out told me, "I don't do anything I don't want to do. Never have and I never will." I love her spirited nature!

I am ashamed to say I have not made it to my grandmother's home in Georiga yet (we usually visit here in California or in Florida) but I have committed to visiting her home in Cordele before 2012 is out. I am going to take my girls to see their Georgian roots so that they can strengthen their connections and build some more memories to this amazing woman! And I am grateful that as my girls grow into women and make their way in this wonderful but sometimes challening world, that they have a long line of courage and strength to tap into as well as their own inner pool of  power and resourcefulness.

Grandpa Ski & Grandma Ruth

2002

(L-R) Oscarina Fernandez, my nephew Alex, sister Kim,
great grandmother Stone, granda Ruth, Onnie Fernandex
(Onnie and Oscarina are my sister's grandparents from
her father's side), 1992

My birth mother, Susan Blizzard.
Susan passed away too early (around age 25)
but she too was a strong, independent woman.