Baby Girl Goes to High School

This week, Havana started high school. She follows in the footsteps of her sister, Amara, starting her high school career at Bentley. It was a mile stone week, as I documented in the last post, Amara got her drivers license. And so now, not only will they be going to high school but very shortly her sister will be driving her there as well. 

All of these changes leave me feeling bitter sweet. I sometimes long for the days when I would pick heir outfits for the day.  Dressing them in flare pants or bright colors. I loved it! Now I can’t even buy a T-shirt for the girls because I have no idea what they like. I am completely disconnected from their styles. In my defense, what they like it and enjoy changes weekly. As does the mood often! Well, that can change daily or hourly, but we won’t go there. But it does seem like just yesterday that I was driving them to preschool for the very first time, dropping them off and then driving away but then having to pull over as tidal ways of sadness flooded me. They did fine but those huge milestones, were, just huge. First it was preschool where they were on their own, without me. And now they’re in high school.  Amara has only two years left until she graduates. Wasn't it just yesterday that I dropped them at preschool?  This life is surely going fast. 

I know each stage in life brings its own joys and challenges. I know for some parents, they are glad that her kids are at the stage of more indenpence and maturity. And I am too, but I do long for the past sometimes. I miss playdates in the park, reading books in bed at night with them, making them their nightly bath and the list goes on and on. Each stage of their life brought its own joys and challenges.. We went through so many developmental stages as we supported these little human beings. There was learning to eat, crawl, speak,  and learning to walk. They figured how to play and get along with others, making their first friends.. They were days at the park where I pushed them on the swing and they were sleepless nights when they were teething. Each stage brought its own wonders and sometimes it felt like it would go on forever. But now here we are in high school. Yet my mind is playing tricks because it really does feel like it was just yesterday that I dropped them off at preschool. And the next day it was Montessori family for the start of the elementary school years and middle school. Throughout it all including traveling around the planet, exploring and learning. All of this seemed like it would go on forever. And yet now they are going to high school and soon they will fly the coop as they start their college career and their own lives as adults. It is sometimes too hard for my small mind (and heat) to take in and accept.

It is funny that future stages of their life used to seem so far away. But now, with most of their childhood in the rearview mirror, the future is not that far away. Coming upon us so quickly is that day when they will fly the coop. It is coming too quickly and sometimes I feel a deep sadness about it all. There are days, even the challenging ones, when want to pull up my hair out because it is a lot dealing with teenage years, that I want to slow down their growing up. Because the reality  I love having these two small gems  who are not so small anymore, in my life and in my house. Yes, I also love watching them grow and become their own independent people. They are amazingly bright, warm, caring young people who have big hearts. I am excited to see what the future holds for them.  But I also long for the days when we would play Uno endlessly and read the same book night after night. It’s all been a mystical, magical, challenging, and blessed part of life. One that I’m forever grateful for.