Girl Scouts ~Spring Adventures ~2019

It was a more scaled back but fun Spring with our Girl Scout troop. Cadet's worked on their Tree Badge, Havana as the only Junior went to the Zoo for her Animal Habitats Badge and Brownies did some work on their journey. Together we learned new songs, did some crafts, went ice skating at the Schultz Museum for fun on the ice and work on the naturalist badge. We did a some communication workshop, completed the comic artist badge as well as partaking in some science based events. Fun combined with valuable skills that support these amazing girls in being who they are meant to be. 

We had not hiked recently and that poking at me. It's important for the girls to get outside in the natural world so before we went out for our post cookie sale dinner celebration we took a lovely hike by the Pinole beach front. The girls are growing up fast but it was lovely to witness how they  still appreciate nature, will pick up trash and look out for each other. Some of these girls have been in together since day one (seven years ago!) and other's new, yet they still see each other as their Girl Scout sisters!

Next year the girls want to sell even more cookies (oy vey) and/or fund raise so we can do some traveling. Cadets will work on their Silver badge and our newly bridged to Juniors will work on their journey as well. We may be brave to tackle the Bronze badge for them. Either way, it's Girl Lead and we always have a really good time.

NY style pizza at Warrior Pizza to celebrate over 3000 boxes sold!

Pt. Pinole

Comic Badge at the Creativity Museum.

Annual Council Dance.

Cadet's working on Comic Art Badge

That is a giant size Thin Mint box at the NorCal offices.

At the SF zoo; a first time visit for us that was sweet and educational. 

Technically winter but it's not Girl Scouts without cookie selling.

Pesach 2019

 It's been two months since we had our Passover Cedar with the Hauser-Brown clan and I am just now finding the time to reflect on it. This life sure is a busy one. I wonder if time went quickly or slowly for those in bondage so long ago? If the days felt long but the years slipped by in an instant?

This year, Steve presented the story of Passover in a way that was relevant and meaningful to our modern times. He reflected how the migration of the Jews out of bondage in Egypt was not unlike the migration of those leaving their homes of our southern neighbors. Both left what they knew to escape brutal living conditions in search a more peaceful, abundant life. A life in which they could live freely physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.  Steve gave us much to ponder on and it left me feeling sad that humans have not seemed to evolve very much but also thankful that we are aware and open hearted to the plight of those both similar and different than ourselves.

 Alissa and Justin did a fabulous job on the table decorations that reflected some of the more important aspects of Passover (the plagues). They were creative and thoughtful as well as kid friendly. For those of us who have sat through what seemed day long cedars, their entire take on it made it more meaningful and digestible for all of us, but especially the kids. 

The story of Passover was so long ago but the cedar we partook in brought it into modern times in a way that our kids could learn and grow from. It was gently powerful. To have a yummy vegetarian food (after what did not feel like days!) was the icing on the matzo cake!

Lesser Locks

Not that long ago, I wrote a blog piece about my struggles with keeping Havana from becoming Rasta Havana (you can read about that here https://twosmallgems.blogspot.com/2019/04/rasta-havana.html). Soon after, Havana approached me with a request for a haircut.  She wanted a shorter do.I told that we could do that but waited several days to see if that was a fleeting idea. Nope. She asked me not once but two more times before I questioned her motives. She wanted to cut her hair because she thought it would be easier to maintain and thought it would look nice. How could I not support that? But in all honesty, despite the nightly arm aches, I had grown attached to her longer locks. At the same time, I wanted to honor her independence in making this decision.

Off we went to the local Supercuts and off went a large portion of Havana's hair. I think it was a bit startling at first, for all of us, but we not only got used to it rather quickly, we all relished the evening hours without the hair combing drama. It may have been my arm about to fall off but Don and Amara had to withstand the protests. The new found peace was lovely!

Havana looked even more darling than her usual darling self with her shorter locks and we now find her coming her hair, on her own, without any encouragement.

Post haircut.

The last time Havana cut her hair. Adorable, isn't she?!! (biased? not me!)

12!!!!!!!!!!!!

Every June, as my precious two small gems near another years walk around the sun, I pour through the countless photos that I have taken of them, over the course of their young, short lives. Each year, I relish the memories of their first days, months and years. 

I miss those days. My heart aches at times, to go back in time, even if for a few hours. I wish I could watch them play in the bath, or carry one of them in the Ergo or go to story time at the library. I miss my Wednesday and Fridays off with them, when we'd be the park both alone or with friends, go to a music class or just taking naps together at nap time. 

There is great joy in current ages too; We not only cook together but the girls can plan and shop for recipes. The girls and I have bonded in deep and intimate ways (esp Amara who is older and can communicate a bit more maturely). We have traveled since their first months but now it's far easier and more meaningful. The girls help pack and prepare. They don't need a much attention on flights. Most rewarding is that they remember our journeys and we share what we each experience along the way. I see them reading longer and longer chapter books, which makes this voracious reader of a mom just delighted. We play more complex board games, although I still ask them to play Candy-land, and it's both more fun and a challenge to go shopping for clothing. We enjoy pedicures and foot massages now they are old enough to appreciate and still still for them.

And still, there are days when I wish we could still enjoy the younger years. 

Amara's birthday is the beginning of June so I always start with her. It's both exciting and shocking to look back her first days and to see how much she has grown and changed in such a short period of time. This year she turns twelve. Twelve. It has gone by so fast and yet so slow. It feels like decades ago that I was sick with hypermimesis and yet still delivered that 9 pound 2 oz bundle of energy. 

From the beginning, Amara has been one of the most observant, energetic, sharp, articulate and creative young persons I have ever met. She has continued to thrive at school, working hard and diligently on everything she does in her Montessori classroom. She can be a bit bossy but at school she channels that into being a great 6th year leader (we have mixed age classrooms; This year the girls are together at it's 4-6 years) who is also a buddy to a a 1st year student. Each week she goes to the lower elementary classroom (1st-3rd years) and helps her buddy with classwork. She also has a pal in KT, whom she is especially fond of and makes the effort to spend time with him. Over this past year, I have see her plan and execute ideas, such as co-planning a 6th year trip to the food bank or helping with the class carnival, which raises money for charities. 

Amara is a thoughtful young lady who continues to ask a gazillion questions and gets anxious when she has to sit with the unknown. She still gets out of sorts when she feels pressure (most of it self-imposed), thinks she is sick or has "drama" with her peers (that's a very recent, new thing in our lives). We have worked purposely this year to help her to learn how to connect with feelings and to communicate them instead of her go-to meltdowns. It's an ongoing process but there has been significant progress. 

The most challenging and obvious changes are the ones physically and socially. Amara is a tween now, going into puberty. Bodies drastically change during this time and she is no exception. With hormones raging come shifts in bodies, moods and a sudden exploration and interest in things she was previously oblivious too. We are currently learning to navigate that along with the social interactions with peers around texting, jealousy amongst friends, crushes and her drive to look good with nice clothing (she has is currently partial to anything camouflage and crop tops, which we limit!)

So yes, I wish for the sweet, earlier years but honestly, I love watching Amara bloom into herself. It's difficult at times for this mama. I am learning so much and at times I have to lean on my parent friends for guidance but having my Amara Pearl in my life truly remains one of the greatest joys I have ever had and for that I most humbled and grateful beyond words.

Happy 12th Birthday Amara Pearl Josephine! 

(Below is glimpse of her through her young years)

4 weeks old!

8 months old and already a seasoned traveler. Luvey too!

Noticing something in the distance on a Hawaiian beach. From the beginning, not much got past her. That girl truly has eagle eyes!

Kauai, Amara, 2 and Havana, 4 months. She may be smiling because she slid her sister down. There was (is) a lot love/hate going on from day one with Havana Ruby!

Yosemite. An appropriate photo. You (still) can't stop Amara!

Camping trip at Lake De Valle

           

Cousin Reba's wedding, Dana Point, So-Cal. She still gives me those looks!

MFS Concert, 2nd year

Age 10. Amara has loved gymnastics since she was a toddler. She still attends class every Monday after school but has been at a new gym the past two years.

Ferry to Koh Chang, Thailand, December 2018

                                                                             

Mother's Day Hike

 Before I begin to share about our Mother's Day hike, I have to start with saying how much I dislike man-made, commercial holidays. I don't want someone, anyone, to give me a gift or to do something special because it's Mother's Day, Valentines Day or Groundhog Day. I could give a rat's ass about Hallmark's bottom line.  It is much more moving to me when someone does something from the heart because they feel something warm and fuzzy towards me. I do the same. If I see something that feels like someone I love, I might gift them with it. Or I may take photos of someone's family and sharing food means I am really feeling you! And of course, sharing gratitude and love with words and kind energy is a given.

That all said, I don't want gifts and gestures to feel inauthentic, forced, because the calender says so. 

This year, I learned once more, how my two small gems truly love me. Yes, it was a manufactured holiday, however, the cards and gifts they bestowed were made with time, energy, effort and most import deep love.  That made a difference in my being able to open and receive.  One of the things I asked of my family was to go on a hike. I wanted to go to a new location, not have to drive far and just be in nature with my family. 

Thanks to handy dandy google search engine, I found a trail down in Moraga near what seemed a reservoir. Off we went. As we got closer we heard some chirping birds in the backseat fuss about not wanting to hike. Well, one fussing bird, who shall remain anonymous. Once we arrived some coaxing with snacks got the two birds out of the car and on the trail. Like always, once the girls are out in nature it truly is like a lightswitch. Fuss went to excitement, complaints went to 'look, look' and from there it was nothing but sun, fun, peace and tranquility.