Cousin Alaine

We took an early morning drive into the city today to visit with my first cousin, Alaine, (or Laney as family calls her), who was in the area for a work show at Ft. Mason. It figures that the one morning I wanted us to head out early was the one day the gals slept in late (7 a.m. is very late in our household!). But we were still able to pull off being in the car just past 8 a.m. And it being so early in the day, we breezed in San Francisco in about thirty minutes. Sweet!

Amara didn't quite remember cousin Laney who was last here when she was 2 1/2 and for her sister it was almost like a first meeting. Havana was not even a year then. But Alaine remembered Amara and her curiosity. Amara's questions started the minute she got out of the car; "Why are you staying here?", "How long have you been here?", "Why are you going home tonight?" I laughed out loud when Laney said, "Why, why, why, why!! The questions don't stop!" Some friends recently had a discussion, via FB, about the endless 'whys' of toddlers. It was refreshing and objective to see my toddlers endless curiosity through the eyes of someone else.

We could have taken walk along the wharf but the weather was cold and the girls enjoyed the hotel lobby as much as anything else. One of my current life lessons is that less is more! But after more than an hour of them running up stairs and riding back down in the elevator we decided to take a short ride to do some site seeing. Laney had to go to work so on the way we took a ride down Lombard Street and went up to Coit Towers. Not only did our cousin get to see some famous landmarks but the girls got to see in person some of the places we read about in their book, 'Good Night San Francisco'(which, of course, we just had to read later that day before their nap time!).

I love my cousin Alaine. Seeing her today, even for a few hours was very special. Growing up, some of the only family were she and her 3 siblings, my only other first cousins. We spent a lot of time at their house on Great Oaks Drive. It was a large house, two stories, plus a basement and their large yard with an in ground pool. That house provided lots of fun times. It also provided some sad times. I was the youngest and often found myself alone (and feeling alone) because I was "too young" by their standards. I was "too young" to watch the movie that was on HBO or "too young" to hear the conversations or "too young" witness some of their goings-on behind the closed doors. But I always knew what was going on and I always wanted to be with them. I loved my cousins. And it was through them that I got my first understanding of what family meant. And now, as a parent, I want my girls to raise up knowing what family means.

So what does family mean? For me, for my girls, it means heart:heart connections with people they trust, people they feel safe with, people they can be themselves with and people who support them and love them on every level. It means Being with people whose hearts and minds are open and free. And vice versa. And while I feel that cousin Laney and her siblings are family, I also know that there are those who are not family by relations sake but are family by heart and soul connection sake. There are those whose I met well into adulthood who have become my family and for whom my loyalty and love are stronger than those I share a bloodline with. Who do you consider family? What does family mean to you?