As a child, I grew up around animals. My beloved Aunt Maxine breed and showed lhasa apsos so not only did I get to see our own dog (Toi Ling) being born, I was witness to many puppies entering the world. I cherished their new smell and playful sense of being. I didn't mind the chores; there was cleaning out the kennels or feeding those sweet little dogs. There was something about the four legged ones that resonated with me on a deep level and I cherished my time around them.
It was also during my childhood that I realized that cats were pretty special too. In the fourth grade, I drew a large picture of a Siamese (which I still have packed in the garage) because I just knew that one day I would have a Siamese companion. Ten years later, while a freshman at Prescott College, I adopted a rescue Siamese, who a friend named Tosh. Tosh quickly became the most important part of my life. For nineteen years he was at my side, literally, with the exception of when I had to leave the house. Tosh flew with me twice cross country and together we drove across the country three times; while I would spend hours at the well, Tosh would be spread out across the dashboard, soaking up the sun. When I lived in rural Humboldt County, we shared a room, then a tiny trailer and for a time, a tent deep in the woods. During the middle of the night, wild pig would occasionally circle round the tent, rooting. They were scary little creatures but together Tosh and I survived that and so much more. Tosh and I lived in Arizona, New York, California and all those places again before finally settling in the Bay Area.
It was heartbreaking when Tosh passed. I always knew I would have children and foolishly assumed Tosh would be around for at least part of their lives. It was not meant to be however. When Don and I were were traveling in East Africa, Tosh transitioned. Thankfully, a dear friend was with him to comfort him at the end and to send him off with love. I have no regrets about not being there. I would have been unable to say goodbye. Having that time and space of continents and oceans was just want I needed to let go.
When we returned to the States our home felt empty without Tosh's presence. I knew it was too soon but within a couple of months, Don and I adopted two Siamese brothers. Bodhi and Kai. At just 8 weeks, they took over our lives and while I fell in love, it was never the same as Tosh (how could it?) My entire adult life from age 18-37 was with Tosh. There could never be another Tosh but Bodhi and Kai were pretty darn amazing in their own right.
Once Amara was born, Bodhi (who was just 11 months), bonded with her immediately. Kai, well, he was more of a free spirit who sadly got out when he was a few years old and never made it back. We have since had two other cats, Coco, whom we found (or who found us) when we were searching for Kai. Coco didn't live long either; he died just a couple of years after. It was rough on the girls but death is a part of human life. Amara was present when Coco passed and both girls helped their father bury him in the yard. Several months later, Havana asked for a kitten. It took a minute to connect with the right match but Havana and Samson fell in love at first sight, not that different from Tosh and I.
I don't know many things for sure but I do know that our fellow living beings are sacred. To share a bond with a domesticated animal is wonderful gift. Bodhi and now Samson have deep bonds with both Amara and Havana and it makes my heart filled with happiness that they are experiencing some of what I did with my four legged love. It always brings a smile to face and my heart when I see them gently (well, dressing Samson is not always gentle on Havana's part), kindly and lovingly interact with their feline brothers. I pray that all of them have many long years together. Animals teach, animals protect and animals love and that is most precious gift.
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