Bob

With Bob and his son, Jose. Lake Minnewaska July 2013

One day, in the mid 90's I met, what I assumed was a an arrogant intellect. I was working for Gateway, an agency that served the developmentally disabled in Dutchess County, NY and one Saturday there was a boat ride on the Hudson for the clients. I took several of the women in my care and it was on that trip I met Bob, another counselor from another group home of Gateway.

I wasn't that impressed with him that day. I really did think he was arrogant.

A year later I put an ad out in Common Ground (the alternative magazine of the Hudson Valley) for a women's meditation group. I got one call. The person left this message, "This is Bob Wurtzel. I think you are the person that worked for Gateway. We met a year ago...."   When I returned his call, Bob told me he has tried to located me after that boat ride. He was curious about me. There wasn't a romantic interest but a feeling of a connection of some sort. Bob invited me to take a hike up on Mohonk Mt. and I accepted. I still wasn't sure about him but quickly realized I have never been so wrong about an initial assumption. The truth is Bob is one of the smartest people I have ever met. Technically he is an intellect. Just not an arrogant one.

Bob is not only smart but intuitive; he is wise and he is objective. He is patient and a peace maker. He seeks out the good in others and tries to make the world a better place. Bob is a master gardener, excellent cook and pretty darn good guitar player. He is not a good housekeeper (I have spent hours cleaning his house for him!) but he makes a fantastic hiking partner. And he has depth. Bob is a fellow seeker or truth and freedom (inner of course!) and has vast knowledge of things of a spiritual nature. But Bob would not admit to excelling at the things he does. Bob is humble. But the truth is, Bob is brilliant and passionate and has a golden touch. Everything (and everyone) he touches blossoms.

I am not sure how I got so lucky to have Bob in my life but I cherish him. Bob has become my best friend. It may sound cliche but he really is a treasure I am blessed to have some pretty wonderful and awakened people in my life. But there is something about Bob that stands out.  We speak frequently and I seek him out when I need support and guidance. I trust him in a way that I trust no one else. He knows me like no one else. And I him. When he needs a listening ear, be it for an idea or with something irking him, I am always honored to hear him out.

Our relationship is tricky for our partners. I know and respect that his wife, Aileen is number one in his life (and his son Jose #2). And he knows how much I love Don and how committed I am to making our family as healthy as possible. But for two people to be so intimate with each other (and I mean intimate not sexual) as we are, well that can be threatening. I am thankful Don understands the depth of our relationship and he is okay with it. Yet I know it must be confusing a bit for two people to be so close without there being any sexual or romantic energy. Bob is family and we will be part of each other's lives for the rest of this life.

It was because the importance of his role in my life I wanted the girls to meet him in person. They have talked with him on the phone a few times and have heard me make mention of him frequently. But I think they were more excited to meet his 7 year old son, Jose. So was I. We have not yet had the chance to meet each other's kids. Which is odd. I feel like I know Jose well based on how much I have learned about him from his father.

The girls and Jose hit it off immediately. We went for a walk up at Lake Minnewaska, a sacred and  extraordinarily beautiful spot in the Hudson Valley. And we all later shared dinner at the Freeborn-Meli house.  Too soon our time was over.  It was very hard to say our goodbyes. I know that nothing can change the nature of our relationship, that our connection is solid and beyond this time and space. But to spend time in person, well, it was one of the main reasons for our trip to New York because sometimes you just have to be able to look the people you love in the eyes and you have to be able to make each other laugh in person.

Victoria showing Amara and Jose an inch worm.

Playing in the lake.

Group shot with Bob, Jose, Victoria and Anita.