Mi Familia en Miami





(top left to right) Havana, Uncle Frank, sister Tiffany, Lydia (nephews novia), Don, sister Natalie, Uncle Ernesto
(middle left to right) nieces Naomi, Jazabell, my grandmother Melba, Tia Marbella
(bottom left to right) Dougie Jr. (my nephews son), sister Sabrina, Anjahni & Amara

Sabrina, Tiffany, Natalie, Tia Marbella, Grandma Melba, Anjahni
(two of the Ramirez sisters, the youngest Felicia and Michelle could not make it)

In the days following my reunion with the maternal side of my birth family (sister, grandmother, great grandmother), I stopped to think about my birth father for the first time. My focus was, and had been, for the previous six years, on finding Susan, Bobby and Kimberly. It wasn’t that I never thought of my birth father, I had thought about him but the thoughts were fleeting. I was obsessively focused on finding Susan. But when I discovered Susan had long passed away (around 1971, when I would have been 3), I began to think I might like to at least see my father so I could learn about that side of the family. The information I had was slim. The adoption papers read; “…Father is David Henry, 21 years old, born in Key West. His father was a police officer in Key West. Susan believes he is of Greek ancestry.” The idea of searching further was daunting, however. The search, finding, and connecting with my mother’s side of my family, took an enormous amount of mental, emotional, physical and spiritual energy. I knew I would need time to recoup to gather enough energy to begin another leg of my search journey.

When I got to my sister’s house in Mulberry, during that first visit, I was also met by her paternal grandmother, Oscarnia (who had raised my siblings after their parents died). She and her husband, Onario (aka Onnie) were old school, salt of the earth Cubans, who had lived most of their life in the Keys. The Keys, back then was Little Cuba. And if you weren’t Cuban, you were married to one. Everyone knew everyone. So when I landed at my sister’s and casually mentioned David Henry, of ‘Greek ancestry’ Oscarina looked at me like I had spoken Martian and said, “What?” David Henry? You mean David Ramirez, whose mother is Melba from Bayamo and whose father is Eddie, the cop in Key West?” Well, that rattled me. She knew every identifying detail about my father's side. She told me in a few sentences what I anticapted taking months or even years to discover. 

The Cuban community in Florida is small and tight knit. While it took me six years to find and contact my mother’s side of the family, it took about ten minutes, literally, to get my paternal grandmother’s phone number. Oscarina called her long time friend Ida, who was friends with my grandmother in Miami and before I could blink, I had the number how to reach my bio father.  

Many surprises came out of  the subsequent phone call including finding out I was of Cuban descent (which  made so much sense) and....that  I had five younger half-sisters. That took my breath away. I never imagined I might have more siblings. And what was most surprising was that the two youngest were only 1 & 3 years old when I met them. Fast forward twenty-two years and we have all now had children of our own. And while I am not in close contact with all my sisters, when we do get together in Miami we always have a crazy, great time. Poor Don, he doesn't know what to make of all of us loud Ramirez girls! And now the cousins love it when they get together too. Natalie, who is 3 years younger than I have formed the closest bond most likely due to our age but I am hoping as we all get older and as the kids get older all of our bonds will deepen. This trip especially brought the cousins together.


I feel like I have had the best of two worlds. The world I was raised in and that feels like where I was meant to be. And the world of my biology, where it feels like I am meant to be as well. Not all stories of adoption have such happy endings. Mind does and I give thanks and praise for this.

I didn't make much mention of David, my birth father. We have had a hot and cold relationship. In some ways I am the most like him of all my sisters (so they tell me!) We share many things in common (he has been traveling to Jamaica since the early 70's, loves rock and roll, grew up in the 60's, loves to travel, is a bit anti-establishment and has a hot temper. For those who know me, sound familiar?!) but there are issues there and for now our contact is limited. He has met the girls a few times but I don't need to have a close relationship with him, even if there were a possibility, which it is not. He's not that kind of father figure.

My grandmother Melba, she is the heart of this side of the family. I have alot of respect and love for my strong, eccentric, beautiful, loving, wise and spiritual grandmother. Over the years since I first met her, I have come to relish my time with her. The stories about her life in Cuba, her migration to Key West, her tumultuous marriage (and divorce) to my grandfather Eddie (who died before I could meet him), her work at the same job for twenty-seven years have told me much about her character. Through it all, her faith and positive attitude are what have carried her through her eighty-eight years. She is quick to tell you that "I never got a ticket in my life and I have never been to the hospital." Grandma Cheena (as we call her due to her being half-Chinese) (and I am not sure what the correct English spelling is) is a remarkable woman. And she can cook too. She always makes us eat and then eat more!! Don and I leave her home always full but satisfied! It was inspiration of her that lead me to visit the village she was born in, in Cuba.

One of the most valuable things I learned from the path my soul choose for me in this life is that blood is not thicker than water. Sometimes the connections we have with those in our family is strong and deep. But sometimes those who are not related to us are the ones our hearts feel most connected too. I am thankful that there are those in both categories whom I experience that with.

Being adopted and having two families is a big confusing to the girls. They are too young to fully understand but that's okay. They love their family and they have begun to bond with them. So they are following what their heart is calling and that is what matters most.

Sisters Marbella and Melba. Both look great! Marbella is 81 and Melba 88. Amazing!

Jazz and Amara.

Uncle Ernesto playing with Havana and Naomi.

Jazz.

Naomi.

Dougie Jr. and Jazz.

David (birth dad), his girlfriend Marget in 2010 with myself,
 Amara (then 2 and Havana (then 6 months).

The Ramirez Sisters 2010
Felicia (with nephew Anthony), Jazz, Anjahni, Amara, Natalie, Michelle (with Hvana), Sabrina
(Tiffany couldn't make this reunion.)